Connor being knighted by his Dad 


I was asked to speak on this topic this week at our church’s Little Warrior Dinner to the Moms of younger elementary boys.  One of the things I love about our church is our Faith Path.  It is a well thought out path that includes parenting classes, child blessings, purity classes, and launching events for our our high schoolers.  It strives to put the church and parents into a partnership to raise Godly children.  Neither parents nor the church can or should do it on their own and it works best when they are working together in partnership.  Whenever I am asked to take part in on of these events, I generally happily accept as I have found it to be one of the most meaningful and purposeful programs our family have been apart of.  Since I was already writing something up for that event, I decided to share it here as well.

When I think about what boys need from their Mom the first thing I think is that boys need Moms who think long term.  So often as Moms, we are in the moment.  There are pressing things to do right now.  We need to do the laundry to make sure the kids are clothed, we need to go the grocery store to feed them, we need to get their homework done so that they can be educated.  It’s all pressing and very much in the right now.  However, if we really want to do the right things for our little men we need to think a little bigger and a with a little more forethought.  I think the question needs to be, “What kind of man, husband, father do I want my son to be?”  When I start thinking in those terms, I see what I need to be training my sons in now.

1. My boys need a Mom who show their Dads and themselves respect.  Boys need their Moms to respect their boyness.  I want my boys to grow up to be men and to do that I need to respect that they are different than my girl and myself.  They are more aggressive, they need to conquer things, they need to best themselves.  They need to be boys who are encouraged to be men. Respect that they are different.

2. Boys need Moms who train them to be Gentlemen. The definition of a gentleman is , ” A chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man” isn’t that what we want our sons to be as men? We need to teach them to open doors, say please and thank you, and take care of the people in their life. I want my sons to be men who are gentlemen. We need to be Moms that train that behavior in our little men. We need to teach it, to play act it, to expect it.

4. Boys need Moms who train and respect the Protective Warriors in the men in their lives.  One of my favorite pictures of all time is of Caileigh and Collin when they were three.  Caileigh is all dressed up in her princess attire and Collin has a shield and sword and is standing in front of her ready to protect her.  To this day, he is her protector, her shield and often the voice of caution to her crazy plans.  Now, I will be honest and say that Caileigh hasn’t always been a big fan of Collin’s protectiveness and we have had to train her to allow the men in her life ( her Dad, her Grandfathers and her brothers) to protect her.  To this end, all of our kids have taken karate for years so that they not only can protect themselves but to protect others.  We talked about that a lot when my kids were little.

5. Boys need Moms who ask them and expect them to do big things in their lives.  Even when they are young. We want our boys to become men who change the world for Christ. Boys also need Moms who know that failure is only a stepping stone to success.  Boys need Moms who allow them to fail and then encourage them to get back up, clean up the blood and try again. True failure is only when you stay down and don’t get up again. That’s how we eventually train boys to do hard, big things.  I like reading and telling stories of great men who did big things but also faced a lot of failure along the way.  Think Edison or Abraham Lincoln.

6. Boys need Moms who teach them how to do chores and expect them to do it.  My boys can clean, do laundry and cook a meal.  They can also mow, use a hammer and put in a light fixture.  They need to be able to take care of themselves and be competent at it.  My oldest actually thanked me that he knew how to do all of that before he went to college because many of his friends didn’t and it put them at a disadvantage.  There have also been times when I have been sick or out of town and my kids, all of them, had to step up and handle the housework and even if they didn’t like it, they knew how to.

Ultimately, boys need Moms who love God, who maintain a relationship with Christ and teach that relationship to their sons.

Here’s a resource that might also help 52 Things Sons Need From Their Moms


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