{"id":1225,"date":"2018-06-14T18:36:11","date_gmt":"2018-06-15T00:36:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/?p=1225"},"modified":"2018-06-14T18:36:18","modified_gmt":"2018-06-15T00:36:18","slug":"10-practical-things-extended-child-and-parent-training-pt-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/?p=1225","title":{"rendered":"“10 Practical Things” Extended – Child and Parent Training Pt 1"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/span>The seminar and article I get the most questions on is from, “Ten Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know” so I thought I would start with that.<\/span>
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\n<\/span>Today we are going to talk about Parent Training.<\/span>
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\n<\/span>\u201cThe reasonableness of the command to obey parents is clear to children, even when quite young.\u201d \u00a0– Noah Webster<\/p>\n

One of the very first things I ask Moms who are stressed and overwrought and clearly at their wits end with this crazy homeschooling thing is, \u201c If you ask your child to please go to the table and sit down, what happens?\u201d \u00a0and the second thing I ask is, \u201cHow many times would it take of you asking before your child would do it?\u201d. \u00a0More often than not, the answer comes with a pause and a stammer or even an answer that it depends on the child\u2019s mood that day. \u00a0Children that do not obey right away make homeschooling 10 times harder than it has to be and if you have more than one child, that can make it almost impossible. \u00a0Consider this scenario –<\/p>\n

\u201cJohnnny and Susie, please come to the table and sit down. \u00a0We are ready to start school.\u201d \u00a0Mom asks. \u00a0Johnny and Susie keep playing with the legos with no acknowledgement or sign of movement.<\/p>\n

\u201c Kids, it is time for school. \u00a0Come over. \u00a0I have fun activities planned for today.\u201d \u00a0The two briefly raise their heads from their toys at the mention of fun but quickly go back to playing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI said, it is time for school, don\u2019t make me count to 3!\u201d \u00a0Mom\u2019s voice starts getting louder. \u00a0Finally, Mom comes over and takes their hands and puts the toys down and makes them come to table all the while the two have begun to wail which then wakes up little brother who has been taking a nap. \u00a0Mom struggles to get them to table and hopes the baby goes back to sleep so she can do school. \u00a0Mom is stressed, the kids are whining and crying and it is only the beginning of the day.<\/p>\n

The calm, wonderful school day Mom has meticulously planned is now shot to pieces and she just does the best she can to teach the have-to\u2019s in the remaining time. \u00a0Anyone would have a hard time teaching phonics and math to children who won’t even come sit down at the table. \u00a0It becomes more about just getting it done than really teaching and educating. One of the interesting and more difficult parts of homeschooling is the fact that we are educating and parenting. \u00a0We are training their minds and their hearts at the same time. \u00a0You don’t stop being the Mom when school starts, you just add the Teacher hat to the mix.<\/p>\n

Now, before we go any further, I know that some of you are thinking, \u201cDawn must have compliant children. \u00a0She clearly doesn\u2019t have any strong-willed children.\u201d \u00a0Not true, AT ALL. \u00a0We are blessed with three children, Connor, and the twins, Caileigh and Collin. \u00a0My husband often says that if we would have just had Connor we would have thought we were the best parents ever. \u00a0We said, “No”, and he stopped. \u00a0We could look sternly at him and he would apologize. \u00a0Then we had the twins. \u00a0Caileigh, bless her sweet heart, is definitely my child and that is both a blessing and a curse. \u00a0I often heard growing up, \u00a0\u201c I hope you have a child just like you!\u201d and I did. \u00a0Caileigh does her own thing, in her own time and is willing to let you know when she doesn\u2019t like something. \u00a0Her twin, Collin, sees everything in black and white and while mostly obedient, if you do something that he sees as wrong ( like turning the cartoon off while he was watching), he will hold a grudge all day long. I understand, really, I do. \u00a0That\u2019s also why I know this works. \u00a0I read all the books, went to the seminars, talked to the leaders and gathered all the information I could.<\/p>\n

So what is a mom to do? \u00a0Plan to spend the summer training your children in first time obedience, no whining and complaining and cleaning up after themselves. \u00a0What if you are in the middle of the school year? \u00a0Then start where you are. \u00a0You can schedule homeschooling light for the next few weeks, take a week or two off or pare down on activities for the next several weeks. \u00a0It can be done in the school year, it just might take more of your time, emotions and energy than usual.<\/p>\n

Parent Training<\/p>\n

First things first, we need to do some parent training. \u00a0I would suggest you take a week before you start on child training to train and prepare yourself and possibly your spouse.<\/p>\n

In my experience, one of the most powerful and helpful parenting Bible verses is Matthew 5:37 which says, \u201cSimply let your \u2018Yes\u2019 be \u2018Yes\u2019 and your \u2018No\u2019, \u2018No\u2019; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.\u201d<\/p>\n

When my children were little, I was challenged to really put this into practice in my home. \u00a0It meant that I had to take a moment and think about what they were asking and what my response would be. \u00a0It meant that if I said,\u2019Yes\u2019, I was committed to doing what I said I would do. \u00a0If I said I would make cookies, then I did. \u00a0If I said they could play with playdough I needed to be prepared to help get out all the playdough toys and set them up outside on the patio. \u00a0(I can not deal with playdough in the house. \u00a0It makes me crazy) \u00a0If I said that as soon I was done folding the laundry then I would take them to the park, then I did. \u00a0Sure life can get crazy and sometimes things happen but I tried to be very careful to keep my word. \u00a0I wanted my kids to know that I when I said I would do something then I would. \u00a0I didn’t need to promise because my kids knew that if I said \u2018Yes\u2019, I meant, \u2018Yes\u2019.<\/p>\n

This took me a little time to adjust to as I really needed to think about it before I said, \u2018Yes\u2019 or \u2018No\u2019. \u00a0I had to weigh out all that I had to do, what other expectations I had on my time and what was most important that day. \u00a0Had I spent enough time with the kids or had I been too focused on other matters. \u00a0Did I have company coming and messy kids what the last thing I needed? \u00a0Was there a moral or Biblical reason to say \u2018No\u2019, or was it just because it might annoy me. \u00a0This last statement was one I was also challenged on, did I just say \u2018No\u2019 to things because I just didn\u2019t really want to deal with it or did I have a valid reason to say, \u2018No\u2019? Don\u2019t get me wrong, there were days when I said, \u2018No\u2019 and then I told them, \u201c Mom, really isn’t up to it today. \u00a0Can we do it later in the week?\u2019. \u00a0I really tried to limit the \u2018Nos\u2019 that had more to do with what I felt like then really whether it was a bad idea.<\/p>\n

Saying, \u2018Yes\u2019 is far easier than the concept of saying, \u2018No\u2019 and meaning it. \u00a0Your \u2018No\u2019 as parent must hold weight. \u00a0If I tell my kids, \u2018No\u2019 they understand that I am willing to follow up on the \u2018No\u2019. \u00a0I do try and give them a why with the \u2018No\u2019 so they can learn the whys behind my \u2018Nos\u2019 and hopefully begin to see the wisdom and pattern in my \u2018No\u2019.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you may not take the toy away from your sister because that is rude and the Bible says that love is not rude\u201d.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, you may not play with your brother\u2019s toys as it is not yours. \u00a0We must love and respect your brother enough to ask before we touch his things.\u201d \u00a0I said this a lot to the twins who wanted to play with their older brothers cool toys. \u00a0Actually, they still want to play with his cool toys, but they now ask before they touch.<\/p>\n

When I said \u2018No\u2019 to my kids, I had to be willing to follow up on whatever the consequences might be. \u00a0My \u2018Yes\u2019 meant \u2018Yes\u2019 and my \u2018No\u2019 meant \u2018No\u2019. \u00a0I didn\u2019t count to three, I didn\u2019t ask several times because they needed to know that I meant what I said and I was willing to follow through. \u00a0Was this fun? \u00a0Absolutely not. \u00a0There were days when I met my husband at the door and said, \u201cThe kids are sitting and reading on the couch, dinner is on the table and I won\u2019t be back until they are all in bed\u201d. \u00a0Saying \u2018No\u2019 and meaning it means that your children will test you on your \u2018No\u2019 and you have to have to have the fortitude to follow through. \u00a0It will be worth it though. \u00a0I don\u2019t get angry and I don\u2019t raise my voice but my kids know when Mom says \u2018No\u2019 she means it and they very rarely challenge that anymore. \u00a0It makes our home and much more peaceful and pleasant place.<\/p>\n

I think that this is very first step in having your children listen to you both as a parent and a teacher and it is up to the parent to determine in their heart and mind to follow the Bible\u2019s advice.<\/p>\n


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\n<\/span>Categories: <\/span>parenting<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The seminar and article I get the most questions on is from, “Ten Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know” so I thought I would start with that. Today we are going to talk about Parent Training. \u201cThe reasonableness of the command to obey parents is clear to children, even when quite young.\u201d \u00a0– Noah Webster […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-homeschooling"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7xcFa-jL","jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1225"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3024,"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225\/revisions\/3024"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/shiningexamples.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}