Shining Examples

Like many of you, we used a Charlotte Mason, Classical education and in the Elementary years which meant that we learned together and there was very few textbooks to be found.  There were a plethora of living books, hands on activities and many, many read alouds.  It was great.

Then Connor hit middle school.  It felt to both Connor and I that the books became three time the size and so much more intimidating.  It wasn’t as intimidating as it looked, but I did need to do some training in learning from a textbook.  I also needed to train him to be an independent learner and how to manage his time and resources.  This is otherwise known as Executive Function and is a really important life long skill.

 

I heartily recommend that kids do Apologia’s General Science in one year during 7th grade to teach these necessary Executive Function skills more than even the content of General Science. They need the time pressure to finish a harder subject in a year and they need to learn how to learn from a textbook long before it becomes necessary to put it on a transcript.  I also recommend that parents never just give the book to the student and tell them “good luck, hope it goes well”, because it won’t.  I think parents must go through the first 2-3 modules making sure to teach them the skills necessary to have it be successful.

The other day, I came across this thread on the Well Trained Mind Forum and it has the best description of how to teach Executive Function that I have ever seen. It’s so good, that I don’t think I have anything to add.  Explicitly Teaching Executive Function

 

 

When I quit work to stay home with Connor, I received some flack. I was asked,”Why? You have so much to offer.” After dialing down what I really wanted to say, I usually responded with something like, “I have always known that with my personality, I would try to hyper focus and over achieve on both my job and my kids, but eventually, something would have to give. I didn’t want my kids to be what gave.” I recognize and know some amazing women who seem to do both beautifully, I am just not one of them. It’s good to know one’s limitations.

When I started to homeschool, I received some of the same flack alongside the “Are you qualified?” and the ever so popular, “what about socialization?”. Interestingly, I also started getting the, “Since you homeschool, you have lots of free time to lead women’s Bible Studies or be free to babysit during the day.” I decided right there and then that Homeschooling was my job, it was my priority. I was my children’s teacher and that was my job. Being their Mom was my blessing and privilege, but being their teacher was my job and needed to be treated as such.

Last year, I taught preschool at a local Charlotte Mason private school, this year I will teach afternoon Kindergarten three days a week. When I teach, I am completely focused on teaching. I don’t do anything else besides teach. I don’t check my phone or FB or throw in laundry or put dinner in the crock pot. I do occasionally have to stop to clean throw up, bloody noses or potty accidents. That’s the same in both classrooms or homeschooling, much to my chagrin. Whether I am in the classroom or in my living room, my students should be my priority.

Until my kids became independent learners, which was somewhere around 7th grade for my twins, the hours between 8:30 and 12:30p.m Monday – Thursday were completely blocked off for school. I put laundry in before and after school, I put food in the crock pot before school started. Chores happened before school and on Fridays. Sometimes, I didn’t get a shower until noon, because it was time to start school.

My husband, parents and friends knew not to call or text me between those hours unless it was an emergency because I was unavailable. I was teaching and it was my job to be focused on that. I often told my kids that teaching them was my job during that time and their job was to learn. I was giving my entire attention to them during that time and I expected them to give me the same amount of focused attention.

As a teacher, classroom or homeschool, I need to have a plan, be prepared and be completely present. I know everyday seems like forever in the midst of the daily chaos, but I promise you will wonder where the time went. I don’t regret any of the time I gave my wonderful students and I don’t think you will either. It is, by far, the hardest, best job I have ever had.

I have raised three Engineers. Nerds, Geeks, STEM loving kids. Despite their Engineering aptitude, they are also lovers of Art. When we first started talking about going to Europe several years ago, top of their list was the ability to see as much Art as possible. It is one of the reasons we chose the Mediterranean.

For those who are wondering, I am neither an Engineer nor an Artist. From the beginning of our educational journey though, we were determined to have well rounded kids. Kids well versed in History, Science, Math, Music and Art. So, we used a curriculum that had a good base of History, Science, Music and Art. Then, we followed our kids passions and interests and from the beginning they loved Art History and Art Appreciation.

I don’t think I had ever been to an Art Museum until we started “God and the History of Art”. In Denver, the Art Museum has free days during Spring Break and we started making that an annual tradition. When we went to Washington DC, their favorite day was the Art Museum at the Smithsonian, much to the chagrin of their, “Let’s spend all the time possible at the Space Museum” father. Outside of “God and the History of Art” the only thing I added in those early years was,

Lives of the Artists and Getting to Know the World’s Greatest Artists Series. The second link I borrowed from the library for book basket.

As the kids got to Middle School, my bff and partner in crime, who has a Minor in Art History, taught them in Co-Op and added, Artistic Pursuits. She encouraged them all to try their hand at art and did a great job of encouraging all of them that in trying the art projects, they would understand and appreciate art in a much deeper way. All three of mine took this to heart, but it was Caileigh who really soared and managed to get through the entire series by the end of high school and take an AP Art History Course.

I can see how much richer and deeper my kids lives are because of their appreciation of beauty and art. It gives them a depth that I see missing in other STEM kids. It also gives them a way to connect to others who might not be Engineers. I think music and art are universal languages that must be taught to kids.

On Sunday, we spent a day in Sorrento and Pompeii, which is an absolutely beautiful region. There’s a reason so many people lived in Pompeii (close to 15,000), which is hilly surrounding a large harbor which is spectacular. There’s lemon and olive groves everywhere. The Sorrento lemons grow the size of a football, they are huge, and almost everything is flavored with lemons.

On a side note, driving here is super crazy, I am so glad we paid for drivers or are taking tours. If they have traffic laws, they seem to uniformly ignore them. Crossing streets is a treacherous adventure.

We live in Colorado so we are used to stunning vistas, but Sorrento took our breathe away. We spent a long time just sitting in stunned silence.

Mt. Vesuvius is centered in the bay and dominates the landscape. Pompeii was originally a seaside town but is now about an half an hour from the sea and is above the city of Napoli. The site of Pompeii is absolutely huge. I had no idea it was such a large town. In 90 minutes, we only walked about a 1/4 of the site.

Another really interesting point about Pompeii is that they found about 2,000 bodies but they think 15,000 people lived in the town, so they estimate that 13,000 people escaped.

I was fascinated by the streets in Pompeii. They had no underground sewer system, but the entire town is on a slope so the down hill streets were the sewer system. The cross streets were set higher and there were large rocks for people to cross over without stepping into the dirty streets. There were drinking fountains every so often and were designed to spill over into the street to continually clean the sewage. My kids laughed at my fascination. It was just such good planning!

I also didn’t realize how long it took archeologists to find Pompeii. They knew Pompeii existed from historical records, but as it was so buried, they couldn’t find it. If you look at the picture below you can see a more “modern” building (in Italy, more modern is 1700) and is so much higher. Many of these historical sites, like the Roman Forum, were entire buildings underneath entire buildings.

The remaining mosaics were amazing and the kids were impressed by their level of detail. Much more detailed than the mosaics they made in MFW CtG.

So much to see and do in Rome, but today we did the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain, the Colosseum, Palatine Hill and the Roman Forum. We got a guided tour and it was fantastic. The tour guide is an architect from Italy so he knew much about the actual building of these ancient wonders. However, all I could think about and point out to the kids was, “Do you remember making the Roman arches out of jello boxes?”. They liked the reminder the first time, but by the 5th Roman arch, they were over it.

The Pantheon – that’s original, perfectly proportioned concrete from 2000 years ago. Amazing!

The Trevi Fountain – Beautiful!

The Colosseum

See the arches? It would take a lot of jello boxes for that arch. (MFW RTR)

My husband, Scott, is a huge nerd, I mean fan, of Rome so he was incredibly thrilled.

Did you know that the laurel wreaths worn by Caesar and given out at the original Olympics were bay leaves? There’s entire groves of laurel (also known as Bay) in the Roman Forum.

They are excavating under the Colosseum and saving the underground portion which held the animals and criminals waiting to be executed. They estimate that there was over 66 elevators that created trap doors in the floor to surprise those fighting.

All in all, an amazing day!

After graduating one kid from college and two from high school, we decided to take them to Europe. Our version of a Senior Trip.

I am finding it funny the ways my little homeschoolers are reacting to International Travel.

1. My kids are most looking forward to the art in Europe. Is that normal? No, I don’t think so. Today, we spent an amazing amount of time walking through Triptychs in the Vatican.

2. My kids Bible knowledge is fantastic. However, we clearly don’t know the Catholic Saints. Who is St. Judith and why is she consistently holding a severed head? Why is St. Jerome depicted in a red hat alongside a lion? These are our burning questions from today.

3. Michelangelo art projects from 5th grade clearly held more weight than I expected. I just read a book and taped paper to the underside of a chair and had them draw. Looking up at the Sistine Chapel reminded them.

4. Art History is important. They explained to their Dad how they could tell the era of the painting from the elongated figures and the halos.

5. Art Astronomy is pretty awesome. We like the series of painting that not only accurately depicted the phases of the moon but the placement of the planets. MFW’s RTR was used a lot today.

We graduated our twins two weeks ago. I have been trying to write about it since then, but I just can’t yet. It was a wonderful day, and no, I didn’t cry (by sheer willpower), and I loved that there were still people hanging out, playing board games and laughing 6 hours later. It was the perfect day. It honored our wonderful children and the blessings from their grandparents was a wonderful way to launch the twins. Instead of writing more, I am just going to copy my talk from that day.

19 years ago, Scott and I started talking about homeschooling. Okay, I started talking and Scott started cautiously listening. Eventually, he gave in and told me I had one year with Connor, so I better not mess up. No pressure. 16 years later, here we are. I am infinitely grateful Scott gave me that opportunity and supported us through those many years along with the many nights of crockpot meals, things in the refrigerator marked, “Science experiment – don’t eat”, Science Saturday with Daddy, and a distracted wife who spent many, many, many nights debating endlessly whether Art of Problem Solving was better than Singapore or how was I going to keep Caileigh’s attention during grammar. I have had the best job and I am grateful everyday to have been their primary teacher k-12th.

Caileigh and Collin have been very different students, and they required me to stretch and learn to teach the same material to opposite personalities. For many years, Caileigh had a balance ball, a rocking chair or eventually just a duct taped square around her desk with a plea to just stay in her square and not bug her brothers. She sat on the desk, under her desk, hung from the desk or just bounced. One of my homeschool mentors once asked me whether my priority with Caileigh was to get her to be still or to learn and my answer was, “yes”. Honestly, though, Caileigh was always the first to think out of the box, literally in her case. She always saw the possibilities of what could be, never listened or even recognized the word ‘can’t’, continually asked why not, and brought so much joy to our lives. Caileigh was and is, a fierce fighter, an independent spirit and a compassionate friend. In the summer of her 9th grade she was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease and has battled with that for the past 4 years through nausea, severe fatigue, sickness and meds designed to kill her over active white blood cells.  She refused to let it her define her and took a full school load with straight A’s, Captained a Nationally ranked Bible Bowl team, achieved two more Karate belts and was a proud active member of the ever so successful Up a Creek Robotic’s FRC team. I am so proud of her and have learned a ton about grace under pressure from her.

Collin has ever been our little man.  The first to say thank you, the caretaker and defender of the people he deems as ‘his’ and a steady and constant friend. Gain his loyalty and friendship and it’s yours for life. He is a quiet leader who leads by example. Fiercely competitive, he spent a year losing to me on all the games to teach him to lose and win with grace. You’re welcome to everyone who has had competed with or against him. Collin was a great little soccer player, and had a natural gift for anything sports related. In school, he was steady and calm, but liked the schedule to stay the same and for me not to throw anything crazy his way. He was definitely the student who learned methodically and loved history that included battles, fighting or conflict. Fiction was never his favorite, unless it was Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Much of his mandatory reading time was spent reading biographies or just books with a lot of facts. Collin may be quiet, but he has strong opinions and a strategic mind which has been beneficial as a Captain of a Bible Bowl Team or for Robotics.  He can see the best, most efficient path and researches all of his options to make the best, most informed decision. Once that decision has been made, though, nothing can change his mind. He is determined and I look forward to watching how God uses him to change our world.

While I have had the privilege to be their main teacher, I am grateful for all of you here that have taught, mentored, befriended, and coached Caileigh and Collin. You have been an integral part of their current success and a huge part of their future success. From my heart, I am so thankful for all of you and your influence in their lives.

I have 50 days until my kids graduate from high school. 50 days after 16 years of homeschooling. That takes my breathe away.

16 years of picking out curriculum. 16 years of doing school whether I wanted to or not. 16 years of making homeschooling my job. 16 years of worrying about whether or not I was doing enough. 16 years of giggles over writing assignments. 16 years of read alouds. 16 years of failed science experiments, seriously, why do only about 30% of experiments work? 16 years of my house looking more like a library/craft room/science lab than a home. 16 years of saying, yes, we must do all of our chores and all of our schoolwork. 16 years of my husband providing so I could stay home. 16 years of the hardest, best job ever.

In 5o days, we will be done.

What has that 16 years brought us? Young adults who love God and love others. Siblings who love being with each other. A family home filled with love, laughter and memories. Young adults who are confident in who they are and in who God made them to be.

Practically, it has given our oldest(and us) enough scholarships to get out of college with no debt and a swanky job in NYC starting in August. The twins have been accepted into their dream school and programs in Engineering. They have been accepted into a highly selective Engineering Honors dorm and program and have close to a full ride in scholarships each. They have been leaders on their Robotics team and have won 2 State Regionals this year and are going to World’s.

Looking back, I think it has been worth all the blood, sweat and tears (theirs and mine) that we have all put in.

You might be at 50 days of just starting homeschooling or 50 days before you finish your first year of homeschooling. You might be at 16 years of homeschooling with 4 more to go. Wherever you are at, take a moment and look back at the wins. So often we are looking ahead at what needs done that we fail to look at the wins, the accomplishments, the little things that make every day worth it.

Last night I was on a panel discussing how to homeschool through high school. It’s been awhile since I have done anything even resembling public speaking, so I was a little nervous. When I get nervous, I talk more. (Such a bad habit! I found myself telling myself to talk less, listen more. Hopefully, I didn’t come across as a stage hog. Blah! Anyway, I digress) As I was leaving, I was struck with the thought once again that, “There are many ways to successfully homeschool.”.

Strangely enough, the other two ladies had both used My Father’s World at some point, and all three of us were, more or less, Charlotte Mason inspired homeschoolers. All three of us had at least 1-2 kids who were engineers or engineers to be and each of us had kids who all had pursued some sort of formal education beyond high school, whether that be a University, Community College or Vocational School. We all also agreed that as much Bible memorization and Worldview Training as possible was best. And there the similarities ended.

One the spectrum of formal academics with hard and fast rules and guidelines to more informal learning, I, of course was the most formal and one of the ladies fell in the middle and the other on the side of less formal. On the scale of grace giving homes, I fell on the least grace given. (No shocker there. I always fall on more justice, less grace. I continue to work on being more balanced but it doesn’t come naturally or easily to me.) Our transcripts looked different, mine being a year to year transcript with weighted and unweighted grades and the others with transcripts ordering theirs by subject, not year.

Even with the major differences in style, these ladies clearly have successful homeschools. Their graduates have gone on to more formal learning after high school and all are successful in their chosen careers and are happy. It sounded like they have maintained strong relationships with their grown children and all are happy to have homeschooled. Their children have taken unique paths but have a strong faith. That, my friend, is the very definition of a successful homeschool. Kids who have maintained their faith, have pursued learning with a career goal in mind, alongside maintaining healthy extended family relationships? That’s winning.

My more formal education style with stringent deadlines isn’t the only way. It’s how I am most comfortable in leading my kids, but it doesn’t define a successful homeschool. Homeschooling, by it’s very nature, is not designed to produce cookie cutter kids. It’s choosing what is best for your family and within that family, what is best for each individual child. Each family and child is designed uniquely by God and we need to respect and encourage that uniqueness. Thinking that there is only one right educational philosophy or one right curriculum creates stress and it’s just not true. A curriculum or style that’s right for your family may be harmful to another family. Let’s allow God to lead us in developing those uniquely wonderful little people regardless of what curriculum the Jones’ use, or how far ahead the Smith’s daughter is. Our job is to follow God’s lead and to do our very best day in and day out and prayerfully, we, too, will have successful homeschools and graduates.

I am a firm believer in consistency. Consistency in parenting, consistency in schedule and consistency with school. I am not a slave to it, but having a consistent schedule allows me to be flexible when I need to. Training consistency in my kids means that as they get older, they understand what they need to do, and can do it on their own. They know that Mom is never going to okay with the TV being on during the school day so they know not to ask. They know that we do our major chores on Friday so they just naturally get up and do them even if I am not here. They know that barring vomiting, high fevers, hospital visits or natural disasters ( we had a huge flood here a couple of years ago), we do school.

After about the age 5, they stopped questioning whether we were going to do school because we always did school. School is my main priority and it generally gets done no matter what else is going on. Consistency just makes everything easier. It also keeps you on track. It’s harder to get behind if you always do school and you treat it as your first priority between the hours of 8 a.m and 12 p.m. With littles, I saw how this consistency gave them confidence in knowing what’s next. My kids liked knowing that after Bible and LA and Math, we had a snack. They could count on that. They knew after lunch and outside play we had a quiet time. No muss, no fuss, that’s what we did.

As they are all almost adults and are planning their own lives, I see them starting to create that same level of consistency. They figure out how to prioritize their lives, schedule it and then get it done. They don’t think it’s special or unique, it’s what they always have done.

Consistency in parenting can be much harder and made me work on keeping an even keel. No meant no, regardless of what was going on. Discipline stayed consistent between one child and the next, and day to day even if one day was easier than another. We made the rules, posted them with the appropriate consequences and then stuck to it. Our expectations were the same whether we were at home, at church, or at the grandparents. Was it hard? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Our kids knew that disobeying was going to get them the same level of consequence no matter where we were. You could ask them what the consequence for disobedience was and they could quote it. Consistency is key in parenting.

There are no magic pills in homeschooling or in parenting. There is no guarantee that our kids are going to turn out the way we want them to, but I do think that being consistent with our kids is a firm step in that direction. Consistency gives stability, it helps us to clearly see the difference between right and wrong, it gives us, as parents, credibility. It allows our yes to mean yes, and our no to mean no every single time.