Author: Dawn

I once heard that Middle School was just a place holder between Elementary and High School.  Because of the immense changes in their bodies and in their hormones, they just needed space and weren’t capable of much more than that.  While I do agree that Middle School kids are going through immense physical and emotional changes, (this time frame in our home is when I started using the phrase, “Are you new here?” on a daily or even hourly basis.) and it can cause them to completely lose their brain, or sanity, or all semblance of emotional control, it is not the time to merely let them get by. This is the time to start asking them about their interests, it is time to let them know you believe that they are capable of more, time to expect more of them, even if they fail.  They will fail, and your expectations won’t always be met and that’s okay.  The hard lessons they learn here, at home where its safe, will hold them in good stead.  This is the time to start igniting their passions and let them know that you believe that they can start changing the world right now.  Middle School Vision Casting is a blog I wrote a while ago about starting them on a great path.  Today, I want to write about some of the more practical aspects on what they need in Middle School to help them be successful in High School.

 

1. Middle School kids need to learn to be Independent.  I think that once kids hit 6th or 7th grade, they need to have one or two subjects that they need to be responsible for.  They need to be able to follow a schedule and hit a deadline.  Math and Science are easy ones to start with.  Deadlines need to be taught and stuck to.  If they don’t get their work done, they don’t get screen time, they don’t get extra curricular activities, nothing happens until that work is done.  It’s my personal opinion that teaching kids to follow a schedule and understanding that a deadline is important is vital to teach in Middle School.  I have counseled many stressed Moms whose 7th or 8th grader was three months behind in math but still wanted to go on the overnight with church. I told them that if it were my child, they wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything until their work was done and up to date.  Collin was several weeks behind in math and he didn’t get Christmas break until it was done. He did 8 hours of math for a week until he was caught up.  He never did that again.  If kids understand how to follow a schedule and meet a deadline, they will be so much better off in High School and College. You can get them a planner that you fill out each week like this one –  Middle School Planner or make your own.  I simply did a spreadsheet in Google Docs and had 36 printed out with all of their activities and subjects and filled them in weekly.  I still do this.  I also have a place for weekly grades and notes on volunteer hours.
2.  Middle School kids need to learn how to learn from a textbook.  My kids were very much educated in a Charlotte Mason, living books only methodology, until 6th or 7th grade. They had never seen a textbook let alone learn from one.  They also hadn’t really taken Unit or Chapter tests because I firmly believe in narrations until then.  As a matter of fact, I still believe that narrations and summaries are better than tests and I still incorporate that into their High School work.  However, there are just certain topics that are textbook driven.  Not to mention the fact, that most outside High School classes and College classes are taught from a textbook, and that learning from them is a skill that needs to be taught.  I like Apologia Science for this very reason.  I sit down with my kids and show them the study guide at the end of a module and explain that they might want to read that before they read the chapter to know what’s  important to know.  I get them the Notebook that corresponds, and teach them to take notes. I grade their notes because good notes are important.  On their first couple of tests, I allow them to take the test with their notes to help them be successful, not to mention that the most of my oldest son’s College finals also allow him to take a page of notes into the tests.  I, personally, have my kids do Apologia General Science in 6th, Physical Science in 7th and Biology in 8th which gives them more room for AP Sciences in High School.  However, I understand that my kids are STEM kids and that this schedule wouldn’t work for everyone.  I will say that I don’t think General Science is High School Credit worthy and that I am not a fan of doing a 1/2 a book in a year.  This goes back to being able to follow a schedule and meeting a deadline.  A little pressure now will allow for that harder 9th grade year to go smoothly.
3. Middle School Kids need to have their Math, Grammar and Writing skills up to grade level. High School is hard enough and if you wait until 9th grade to work on them, 9th grade is going to be killer hard. (As always, I am talking about most kids, if you have a child with special needs, meet them where they are at)  They need to be at least through Pre-Algebra in math, have a thorough foundation in grammar and be able to diagram a sentence and name all the parts of speech.  Be able to outline a passage or a paper and be able to do a basic Argumentative Essay.  History, Music, Art, Crafts etc are just gravy at this point.  These skills need to be the goals that they need to accomplish before they hit High School.
4. Middle School kids need to focus on others.  My goodness, this age child is sooooo focused on themselves that it becomes necessary to help them focus on others.  We studied and memorized the book of James again in 7th grade.  Then we did a study of different cultures and people groups where we prayed through the 10/40 window everyday.  I insisted that they serve weekly in church and then found outside projects that helped others.  We did Blessing Bags, Operation Christmas Child, passed flyers out in our neighborhood and collected hundreds of cans of food for our local food bank, and raised money to feed orphans in Ethiopia. We shoveled snow, cleared out lawns, helped people recover from a flood, and brought meals to those who needed them.  I wanted my Middle Schoolers to focus on anyone but themselves, and then I kept them busy doing it.  I didn’t wait for them to think of things to do or whether they felt like it, I just made it happen.  We also started doing weekly prayer walks in the neighborhood along with having them think of people we needed to pray for and then we prayed for them in our morning meetings.  Keeping kids thinking and serving others helped them to be more compassionate and stopped them (mostly) from becoming overly emotional.  It also helped me hammer the point in that they didn’t need to wait until they were adults to change the world.  By thinking and helping others, they were changing the world a little bit at a time and teens and pre-teens need to know that.  They want to be world changers, we just have to help them accomplish that.

 

I know the temptation is to just continue in the pattern of homeschooling that you might have done since Kindergarten but I really think you will be better served by helping your child mature and grow.  In a Classical Education Philosophy, those Middle Schoolers are moving into the Logic stage and they really are capable of more.  We must let them and sometimes, we must force them to start to move into that maturity.  Moving into High School will be so much smoother if you prep your child in Middle School rather than playing catch up.  Playing catch up in High School affects ACT/SATs, transcripts, graduation, the ability to get into college and the ability to get scholarships.  Start making their school work more challenging, more independent and teach them to meet a deadline and you all will be better off.

PS – As an after thought, if your child doesn’t know how to mow the lawn, do their own laundry, make a meal from scratch, clean a bathroom, clean a kitchen, and isn’t responsible for their own room.  TEACH IT NOW! My college son has had to teach more than one of his Honors Engineering friends how to make a meal and do their laundry.  Help them to be self reliant by teaching life skills now.

 

As many of you know, I am approaching my very last year of homeschooling.  For the past two years, our college son has been living at home to save money while in college, but in a year plans to go to graduate school in another state.  In other words, in a year, my kids will all be moving ahead with the plans that God has for them.  This is all good news, they are wonderful young adults and I am so excited for their future.  However, it is also gut wrenchingly hard.  I am pretty sure this is the very definition of bittersweet.  It’s both bitter and achingly sweet.  I have been convicted to get my heart right now, so that I can send them off properly.  I want them to have the knowledge that while I love them, am so proud of them, and will miss them dreadfully, this is what God’s perfect plan looks like.  My job was/is to prepare them to move into adulthood and I will be successful in that if I can let them fly and test their own wings.  I have been contemplating what I have been successful at and what I really need to work on in the next year.

Things we did right –

1. This was not about me.  When my kids were little, I felt the need to make them look and seem like the perfect little people.  Perfect hair, perfectly matched, perfectly behaved and when they weren’t, I took it very hard.  I felt like every move they made was a direct reflection of me and I did not handle that well.  God had to really work in my heart to show me that it was not about me.  It was about what God had created them to be and my job was to be the Mom God needed me to be for their sake. He designed a little gifted boy who was infinitely curious, asked really hard questions at really inappropriate times, and felt the need to correct adults all the time. He created a delightful little girl who pushed my buttons, wore her shoes on the wrong feet, and liked polka dots, stripes and checkers all in the same outfit.  He molded an adorable brown eyed, happy boy who was more stubborn than I was, understood more about God than most adults, kept a grudge for a really long time, and who wasn’t afraid to defend his twin sister’s honor with his fists. My job was to mold them into who God wanted them to be, not to create perfect little automatons who perfectly showed off how good of a Mom I was.  It was not about me, it was about them.  Oh, the freedom it gave when I finally figured that out.  My relationships with my little people became so much better when I corrected them for things that actually mattered and not for things that only had outside rewards for me.
2. The freedom to fail. This was directly tied to the first.  If it wasn’t about me, then I could allow them to fail.  Failure is fine as long as we don’t stay there.  We get up, we try again until we get better.  We tried to instill the values of excellence and hard work.  Not perfection, but excellence.  We didn’t stop until we succeeded.  Got spelling words wrong?  Fine, but we will write them 5x and then add them to next weeks words.  Don’t know all your multiplication tables?  Okay, let’s learn them. Was unkind or rude?  That’s not acceptable behavior so let’s apologize and find out what God has to say about those behaviors.
3. Have yearly, and end goals for our children. Yearly goals helped us stay on track and end goals helped to remind me that I wasn’t going to have them forever.  It consistently reminded me that my end goal was to produce responsible, educated Godly young men and women who went out to change the world.  I would fail if I they never went out into the world and weren’t prepared.

Things I need work on. –

1. My worth isn’t about what I do or accomplish but in who I am.  Oh, how I am struggling with this. It’s bringing me to tears as I write this, and I hate crying.  I am a beloved child of God and He loves me regardless of what I do.  My worth shouldn’t come from being a successful homeschooler or from being a good Mom.  I am afraid that right now, that is where I find my worth, and I am desperately working to get my heart and priorities right.  God is convicting and working in me to get this perspective and it’s hard.  I grew up in a divorced family and my worth was very much determined by what I did, how successful I was and only then was their approval given. This is a hard paradigm to shift, but it is necessary.
2. Enjoy the moment. I am a pretty type A, let’s have a plan, and accomplish things kind of girl.  I am constantly looking towards the next steps, the next thing, the next hurdle.  That has its place and it has been really helpful in accomplishing a lot of things but sometimes, I need to live in the moment.  When my kids were little, I needed to stop and play tea instead of doing the laundry.  I needed to not push on to the next subject if my kids were amazed at how erosion happens in the sand box with a hose.  Now, I need to treasure the moments when my kids are laughing and enjoying each other instead of insisting that the dishes be done right now.  I need to take them for a walk and get an ice cream instead of insisting that they need to start writing their college essays 6 months ahead of time.  I need to just be and enjoy this season.  I need to just enjoy them being here instead of worrying about when they leave.
3. This is only a season and God has good plans for the next season, too. I love being a Mom and I love homeschooling.  I didn’t think I would love either, but I do.  I love looking at new curriculum, I love teaching my kids new things, I love learning alongside them.  I don’t love every single day or every subject (seriously, Geometry about killed me and Trig is next – horrors), but overall I love it.  I know not everyone loves it but I do, I feel like this is what God designed for me to do.  However, I need to remember that this is a season and as good as this one is, God has a plan for my life ( and my kids) a plan for good and for not evil.  A plan to give me hope and a future.  I need to trust in that and trust that God has a wonderful plan for the next stage for me, for my husband and for my kids.  I don’t want to fight it. I want to welcome it.

I will admit that I have used, bought or seriously looked at almost every Language Arts curriculum.  MCT Language Arts, Shurley Grammar, Abeka, Well Trained Mind, Life of Fred, Rod and Staff, Primary Language Lessons, Critical Thinking Co.  etc.  There just seemed like there should be an easy fix to Language Arts, but I never found one.

In the end, though, here’s what I would recommend.

K and 1st

I think K and 1st should work on phonics and basic writing skills.  I, personally, don’t think it works well to add a grammar or writing program to K or 1st.  It just ends up to be busy work that you have to repeat in later years.  These littles need to learn to read, write their letters and words and very basic summaries.  Those skills along with  understanding numbers and addition and subtraction, should be the real focus of K and 1st.  Even with really advanced kids, like mine, this should be the focus.  Let them explore the world around them, let them follow their learning interests, teach them about God’s amazing creation and let them explore. Kids that aren’t allowed to do this, burn out and start to resent school.  I did this to my oldest and had to spend some serious time teaching him how to love to learn.  Let them be little.

2nd and 3rd

Spelling by Sound and Structure – I really like this spelling program.  It still teaches basic phonics and can be independently done, a bonus in my opinion.  I continued this program through 4th grade, despite other recommendations.  I found that it worked, allowed some independent work and was fairly inexpensive. Only the 2nd grade program can be bought through My Father’s World (link above) so I bought the rest either at Rod and Staff booths at convention or through Rainbow Resource.

Writing With Ease – I needed some help to teach my kids to learn how to write summaries.  I found WWE to be the perfect supplement.  I would start with book 2 depending on the child (get the teacher’s guide, too) and do a half a book a year.  Otherwise, it would be overkill.

Language Lessons for Today 2nd and 3rd – We used the book Primary Language Lessons for this stage before MFW had rewritten and repackaged the book.  I liked how gentle the grammar was and how it taught my kids to think about grammar and language.  I think it gave them a deeper understanding of using language, versus just being able to name the parts of speech.

4th and 5th

By 4th and 5th, the Classical Educator in me, came to the forefront.  I liked the gentler Charlotte Mason for the younger years but felt the need to start slowly amping up my kids education before middle school. Language Arts was one of the places I did that.

Spelling Power – By 4th and 5th, I just wanted to get spelling done as quickly as possible and move to Vocabulary.  Spelling Power helped me to do that.  Each year, I would test them in to the appropriate list.  Every Monday, I would pre-test them until they had a list of 15 – 20 misspelled words.  Sometimes, we went through 5 lists to find 20 words they didn’t know, sometimes, we went through 1. On Tuesday and Wednesday, they did (2) Activity Cards each day and wrote the entire list once. On Thursday, I tested them on their list.  Any word they still missed, they had to write 5x, add it to their personal Dictionary ( a notebook they each had with a letter on each page on which they recorded words they had a hard time remembering) and we added it to the next week’s spelling list.

First Language Lessons 3 and 4 – I love FLL for 4th and 5th graders.  It added more rigor to their schedule and gave them a really thorough grounding in grammar.  I would do a book a year starting with 3.

Now, for writing. I have two ways that I think could work depending on the student.

Writing With Skill 3 and 4 – If you have found that WWE works well for your child, then I would just continue with that.  It eases well into Writing With Skill ( which is my favorite upper level writing curriculum) and does a great job also teaching Reading Comprehension.

Writing Skills for Today – This is another product MFW has redone.  This is a revised version of Writing Strands.  Now, I have found that people either loved or hated Writing Strands.  There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground.  I liked Writing Strands.  My kids found it funny and I liked how it taught writing incrementally.  I think it taught them to think about writing in a less formulaic than many of the popular programs out there,  I wanted my kids to know how to write, to learn how to write with their own voice instead of just using a formula. Having seen the revised version, I am pleased to see how MFW made it more user friendly.  It is much easier to see the objectives of the writing assignment which makes it easier to grade and it is a lot more friendly to independent work.

Extras –

Apples and Pears – If your child struggles with spelling and phonics and/or struggles with dyslexia ( I am not an expert on dyslexia but have seen this program to work), then I would encourage you to look at this program.  This is a program from the UK and will have some British spelling but I have seen this program work for a child who had eye issues and struggled with phonics and spelling.  I wish I would have had this for Caileigh when she was young, it would have really helped her.

 

As I am working on writing more curriculum recommendations, I thought I would do a quick post on all of my previous blogs on this subject. Just a reminder that not all curriculum works for every family or even every child in that family. One of the biggest advantages to homeschooling is the ability to tailor the education to meet our children’s needs and goals.

Elementary Recommendations

All in One Curriculum

Elementary Math

Elementary Extras

Foreign Language for All Ages

Foreign Language Recommendations

High School

Our High School Plan

High School Electives

Our 11th Grade Plans

When adding extras to an already full curriculum, you want to be very careful. Often, the temptation is to over buy and then try to fit everything in because you have already spent the money. After a few years of doing that very same thing and frustrating myself and my kids, I learned how to add extras in without losing my mind.

First and foremost, I start school slowly adding the main subjects in first and then week by week adding extras. If I find that we are at our tipping point, I stop adding things and keep them for another time. Secondly, we do a modified year round school. We don’t continue our main block (Bible, History, Science, Art etc) through the summer but we do keep going on math and LA. Often, I will do a more “fun” math and LA curriculums in the summer which has allowed us to venture into different curriculums. Thirdly, my best friend and I started a co-op group years ago, in which we each picked an extra or two to do with the kids each week. Sometimes it was something to do with the history cycle but often, it was just because we thought it would be fun to teach the kids. Some years we did our co-op throughout the summer because it was fun and it was a nice way to keep the kids engaged.

Lively Latin

My husband had learned Latin as a child and felt it really helped it so we made it a priority. We still wanted it to be fun and engaging so we went through both “The Big Book of Latin I ” and “II”. We started them in 3rd grade and took 4 years to do both. I only planned to do half a book a year which was perfect for us. We also liked the added history that both of the books had.

Sonlight’s Mathtacular

My kids all loved Mathtacular. It was kwirky, funny and engaging all while reviewing or introducing topics they were covering in Singapore. This was also a great math supplement for when I was too sick to go through math or wasn’t here to teach them. The grandparents were able to turn this on while I was gone, and sit down on the floor with the manipulatives and “do math”. These were also great for summer math.

Nutrition 101

We used this book during co-op where we taught elementary, middle and high schoolers. My friend did summarize some of the info that was too much for the younger kids. My friend would then have the kids make a recipe or two each week from what they were learning and we would eat it for snack. We still use some of the recipes we learned from this book. It gave my kids a good foundation into what we should eat and why. I really liked that it taught my kids the effects of certain foods on the body, both good and bad.

Snap Circuits

We love Science at our house so I often had extra science kits. I generally didn’t get more science curriculum but just bought fun, hands on science kits. Snap Circuits was one of the favorites. We actually ended up buying several additional kits. Had I known, I might have just book got the one great big kit. This was a great way to get Dad involved, too. He was more than willing to do this with the kids in the evening, or do one when I was sick or even during ‘Science Saturday with Daddy’ ( sometimes, to catch up on science that we hadn’t gotten to, Scott would do a weeks worth of science experiments for me) this was another great one for grandparents or for summer.

Critical Thinking Company

I always buy several workbooks from Critical Thinking Co each year. When my kids were younger, they thought that workbooks were the best! I think because we rarely used them, they thought it was so fun to just fill in the blank! I really liked having something the kids could do independently or in doctor’s offices, church mtgs or in the car. We used Word Roots, Mind Benders, Analogies, Mathematical Reasoning and more.

Philosophy for Kids

This was another book we used during co-op. I used this with elementary and middle school students while we were studying Ancients. We learned about the philosophers and then asked big questions. I always sat and taught this as I always wanted to make sure we brought the big question of, “What does God say about this?” by the end of the discussion. Strangely enough, my oldest son has found this philosophy foundation really helpful in college as he could answer who was Socrates, Aristotle and Plato and what did they believe? He could also talk intelligently about the Epicurean and Stoic philosophies.

How to Teach Your Children Shakespeare

We used while we were learning about the Middle Ages. It really gave my kids a wonderful foundation into Shakespeare and now, in high school, that foundation is holding them in good stead. They already know the stories and settings and can focus more on the language and in analyzing the literature.

Our Pastor spoke Sunday on how we are are to be different from the world and how that difference should make the world different. We, as Christians, should be a little strange, set apart to be a light. As homeschoolers, that difference is intensified. We are walking a path that’s less traveled, less mainstream, less normal. Sometimes, it seems downright odd.

When we first start homeschooling, whether that be at the start of formal schooling or in the midst of their education, one of the worries is whether our kids will be normal, will they fit in, or are we making them social outcasts? I think every single homeschool parent has had these worries and, if we are honest, we think about it again at the start of middle school, during high school and when we graduate them and they start making their way into the world. We want them to belong, to have friends, to have community. Homeschooling seems to fly opposite of those wants and wishes.

However, after 15 years of homeschooling and having a kid in College and 2 as Juniors in high school, I have come to a realization. My kids are not normal and I am really happy about that.

1. My kids are free to be who God designed them to be.

When my kids were little, they each had a style that seemed to fly in the face of fashion. Connor loved really bright colors and wore them together. The more neon the better. As a matter of fact, my 6’4 introverted Computer Science Engineer still loves bright colors. He loves his bright blue, green, coral and burgundy pants and wears them all the time. He stands out in a sea of blue, beige and black in the Engineering College. Caileigh loved to wear all the patterns, all the time, together. Polka dots, stripes, paisley, all together on her tiny, petite frame. Collin liked all of his clothes to have numbers on them. If there wasn’t a number on his shirt, his Grammy ironed them on. They liked what they liked and they were free to do so.

Now, this plays out in who they are. Girls aren’t supposed to like machining and fabrication? Caileigh has never been told that and she loves it, so she machines. Collin seems to just gather the best and the brightest around him without even thinking about it all while being the “Dad” friend. You know, the friend that is the moral compass of the entire group. One of our beloved Bible Bowl Coaches mentioned this to me recently. He just said that he loved how the homeschoolers in our group just seem to be free to be who they are. His kids were all in traditional school throughout, but he said loves to watch the homeschoolers just be who God made them to be regardless of what others think of that. Blue hair? Fine. Take charge of the group to plan on how to maximize their time to ride all the roller coasters? Great, let’s do it. Knit and program a piano scarf to actually play music.? Perfect. Have the worst puns ever, but make everyone happy to be with them? What fun!

2. They know how to interact with others of all ages.

My kids know how to talk to adults, to kids their age and to little ones. When we do a co-op or get together with friends for a game night, we invariably have a wide age range. Everything from a baby or toddler and a grandparent or two. You just never know, and they are comfortable with all of them. The segregation of people based on age seems odd and pointless to them. Our friend’s Grandpa always has a fun math riddle or game for them and if a toddler or baby shows up, then someone gets to hold the baby or play Legos. It’s a win-win situation. All age groups have a benefit to them.

3. They love each other and love to spend time with each other. They seem to even like us!

Just like all kids, they had their spats and fights, but we always stressed that if they couldn’t be each other’s best friends, then outside play dates were cancelled. There were years that we had to work through Peacemaking for Families, but they learned how to handle conflict appropriately and learned to pick their battles. Now, they love to spend time with each other. Nothing makes this Mom’s heart happier than to see them all huddled together talking and laughing. They choose to go to movies or dinner together, inviting other friends too, but often just the three of them. I love that. Connor even invites us to go to events with his college friends. Scott went to a midnight movie with Connor and his entire Engineering Honors Dorm. Just Scott and all the college students. It didn’t even seem to faze Connor, he wanted his Dad to go, so Connor invited him. That’s not normal, but it is beautiful! His college friends say that our entire family are just clones of each other. I don’t know what they means, but I think it’s good.

4. They know what they believe and are firm in that.

When Connor went to his first year in College, living in an Engineering Honors Dorm in a large secular public university, I was a little concerned. When Caileigh and Collin started spending 30-40 hours a week at Robotics and were the only homeschoolers, I was concerned. I knew we had taught them well, I knew we prayed over them, I knew they understood the difference between right and wrong, but how would that hold out against the world around them? God had them, He didn’t need my worry or concern. Connor spent a summer at MIT interning and found a good, theologically sound church and went by himself and stood firm. Caileigh and Collin have a great time at Robotics but they hold firm and aren’t afraid to speak their mind if it’s necessary. They haven’t been swayed, their faith is their own.

Some resources that helped us teach our kids how to hold firm –

Does God Exist

Who Is God?

5. They love to learn.

Let’s be clear, they don’t always love school, but they love to learn. Caileigh spends a lot of her free time listening to science podcasts while drawing, Collin reads BBC religiously and Connor still asks me to find “good” books on his college subjects. They take on subjects themselves that have nothing to do with school just because they are interested. A comic book that also teaches Computer Science? They read all of them. I don’t see many other kids actively searching to learn new things just because they are interested. That’s not normal, but it’s wonderful.

Normality is highly overrated. I love that my kids aren’t normal. I love that they get to be who they were designed to be. I love that they stand out in a crowd. I love that they are challenged to do hard things, to go the extra mile. They don’t stop from doing something just because no one else is doing it. They are their own people.

We had a wonderful holiday. We didn’t travel, we played, rested and watched many movies. It was a great break but alas, it’s time to step back into the real world. Coming back to school or going back to work is never easy, but here are some things I have found that ease the transition.

Three steps in going back to school that might help you not lose your mind –

1. Start Slow! We are only doing two subjects this week for three days. Just a gentle, rolling start. Next week we will add a couple more subjects and by January 15th we will be fully back. Seriously, do everyone a favor, and start back slowly.

2. Get Back Into Your Routine! The first thing I do to get back into our routine, before attempting a full school week, is to get our sleeping schedule back into some kind of semblance of order. My teens like to go to bed late and sleep in even later, but as of today, bedtime and wake up time will be enforced. Getting bedtime routines in place also help us to get eating habits back in place. I started tossing all the extra pies and cookies in the trash this morning to help get off the sugar for the start of school. Once bedtime routines are back, the kids slip back into eating at regular times. I find having scheduled meal and snack times to be really helpful. Our cleaning routine will also go back into place as of tomorrow. Getting sleeping, eating, exercise, and screen times back into place will also help with the next item – attitudes.

3. Doing Attitude Checks! Seriously, nothing will torpedo a positive start back into school like bad attitudes, both mine and theirs. I remind myself that homeschooling is a privilege and getting my attitude in place is always the first step. I usually call a, “Come to Jesus Meeting”, with my kids at the beginning of the transition time to go over rules, expectations, discipline and rewards that are standard at our house. Somehow during the holidays, these seem to disappear and be forgotten by them and by me. Having an official meeting to set these back into place helps me to outline my expectations and give them a place to start. I am not a fan of just expecting the kids to know what I want without me clearly explaining and teaching the behaviors and attitudes I expect. This needs to be deliberate.

Remember to plan something fun, too! It’s hard to have all the fun in the holidays and then the pretty lights are taken down, treats are thrown away and we have to start school. It makes me sad (good thing my birthday is two weeks after Christmas) and I know it makes my kids sad. Planning a fun craft, watching a fun movie, or even a drive to a special park will help.

This week we had a lot of firsts. First time the twins had a real, actual job, first time they drove to their job, first time Caileigh volunteered at a secular conference ( it was a super cool Space Symposium) by herself. All of these firsts make me a little nervous, and I find myself praying over them a lot. Especially for Caileigh. She’s the only female at the Robotics company (her brothers both work there so it’s fine), and she was walking in to Volunteer in a place where I don’t know anyone. As a Mom of a beautiful 16 year old, this gives me a pause. Letting them go into the world means some anxious moments, but there are some things I felt really good about.

1. Talking honestly about the world. We have tried to be honest about the world in age appropriate conversations. It is a scary place and our kids need to know that and be prepared.

2. Teach them respect for themselves. We have had conversations from when they were very young about appropriate behavior of others and how they were “the bosses” of their body and their hearts. No one should be allowed to infringe upon that. No one. And if anyone tried, they should speak up and tell.

3. Pay attention to their surroundings. As a daughter of a law officer, I was always told to pay attention to my surroundings. Know where the exits are, keep an eye on anyone acting oddly, and know where the authorities in the room were. I still sit where I can see the doors and scope out all the exits in every movie theatre and mall.

4. Be with them. I never left my kids with anyone, including church, sports, clubs or camps unless I either sat with them or I knew the people in charge until my kids were old enough to handle themselves. Don’t be cowed by the fact that none of the other parents do that, it’s your responsibility to know that your kids are in good hands. There were times that my kids were not, and I bustled them out of there and then got supervisors involved.

5. Teach them self-defense. I was never so glad of the 6 years Caileigh had in karate until this week when I watched her walk into a conference, by herself, in her professional clothes and high heels. I took great peace knowing that if anyone tried anything, she has the skills to flip them over her head or take them to the ground. I know that sounds violent and a little unloving towards others, but I want her to be able to defend herself. I had to when I was young, and it gave me great confidence. Our boys also know how to defend themselves and others. You would never know to look at my computer loving, engineer geek, but a bully once tried to push Connor and found himself on the ground with Connor over him telling him, “I warned you not to try it.” We had a great sensei who always instructed them to try words first and taught them to be fierce with their words and tone long before they resorted to force, which we appreciated. He once said that Caileigh was the scariest little thing he had ever encountered, she could go from adorable little blonde to frightening little monster in 2 seconds flat. I have to say that I found that reassuring as I watched her walk into a conference room with all adults by herself.

Just as I prep them for college and career academically so that they can step in confidently, I think we need to prepare them for the reality of the world. We will not be able to walk beside our kids forever and we need to be wise enough to teach them the skills they need.