Category: Homeschooling

***I am reposting this as I realized as I was rereading, “For the Children’s Sake”, how important this is. We need to remember that God’s Word applies to every aspect of our lives. We teach our kids not to whine about chores in the same way we teach them not to whine about math and English. We teach them to be obedient to our directions whether it be time to leave the pool or time to sit down and do copywork. The principles are the very same. We teach them these habits, not because they will make our lives easier (even though they will), because God’s Word says so. We need to teach our kids that our authority comes from God and that we follow the same dictates that they do from God. We must teach them that good habits and practices come from God and that apply to every aspect of our lives. Our habits from school apply to our habits at home which apply to our habits at church, the grocery store and, yes, even Grandma’s house. We are training our kids for life not merely academics but, we remember that a habit of excellence in washing dishes also applies to our dictation. There is no difference. This is one of the reasons that I think homeschooling is a blessing as it makes this less of a transition. *****

When my kids were little we were encouraged to give our children the reason why we made the decisions we did.  I will be honest and say that it was awkward, time consuming and meant that we needed to use a lot of words.  Instead of just saying, “Stop running”, we had to say, “Stop running in the hallways at church so you don’t knock into anyone.”  Or, “No, we cant’t go to the party because you were sick yesterday and we need to be well for 24 hours so we don’t get anyone else sick.”

One of the best ways we found to do this was to have the entire family memorize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We then memorized these verses from Mathew 22:37-40

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[c] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

These two sections of scripture helped us have the tools we needed to teach our children why we do what we do and sometimes, why we don’t.

On sharing –

“We share our toys with our friends because Jesus wants us to love others.  To love others we must be kind and it is kind to share our toys”.

On talking back –

” Using those words is disrespectful and rude.  Love is not rude nor does it dishonor others.”

On taking flowers from other’s yard ( we said this to Caileigh A LOT!) –

” We don’t take things that are not ours and we want to leave the pretty flowers for others to enjoy.  Love is not self-seeking which means we put others first.”

Why is this important?

We want to train our children to think Biblically. We also want them to be able to reason.  Unfortunately, they don’t know how to do this on their own. When we do this when our kids are young it creates children and teenagers who apply this thinking to other areas in their life. They also know how to express their reasoning.  I have overheard my son telling a group of boys, ” No, I don’t think we should tp a house because that is disrespectful and dishonoring of others property. Maybe we can think of something else funny to do.” I didn’t need to step in because he did exactly what he needed to do.

When kids are little and sick, they don’t naturally want to skip the party or the fun event but we need to help them think with an attitude of putting others first. To do that we continually need to tell them how and why we make the decisions we do.  It’s a part of training thoughtful, kind and Godly young people.

Look at those adorable faces!  Now, we are facing their 12th grade year and these tips still apply.  They apply more now as we have to add College Visits and Applications on to our school lists.

 

There are a couple of things that I have found to make our transition back into the school year easier for all involved.  Including me because I like sleeping in, going to the pool and playing with our friends but alas, responsibility calls.

1.  Start the school schedule early.  I start easing us back into the school year a couple of weeks early by getting us into our school year sleep schedule.  I have found that the I am, I totally mean the kids, are in a much better frame of mind when the first day of school isn’t also the first day they have had to wake up early all summer.  This makes no one happy.
2. Clean and prep the house.  Before school starts, I make sure I have a ‘clean slate’ to start the school year.  Bedrooms have been cleaned and gutted, everything is dusted, floors mopped, I have binged and purged in an effort to make school year cleaning easier.  I also usually have one or two bigger projects that I just don’t even attempt in the school year.  This year, I am officially getting rid of the classroom in the basement and making into a guest suite.  A Geek inspired suite that only we true nerds will appreciate, but my in-laws will appreciate because they will get their own room and bathroom even if all the geek touches go unnoticed.  (Tardis blue walls, Captain America red curtains etc) Last year, I redid our bedroom and repainted the front room and dining room.
3. Plan meals.  I like to have a list of meals prepped and ingredients in the pantry and freezer.  If I am really on my game, I will have several meals in the freezer.  I have a great list of about 10 – 15 Crockpot meals that I make sure I have everything for.  I am not someone who likes to list out a meal chart for each day (what if I change my mind, what if I don’t want to eat that?  It’s too confining) but I do have a list of all the meals I have either in the freezer or have the ingredients for.  Apparently, I need to feed the people 3 times a day, 7 days a week, so annoying and having a plan makes that easier.  I also prep breakfast by having a fresh batch of granola, breakfast sandwiches in the freezer and breakfast burritos frozen and available. Lunches are leftovers, sandwiches, veggies and hummus and lots of fruit, it’s an every man for themselves around here but I try to have everything well stocked and ready to go.
4. Behavior check.  It’s important for everyone to know that there will be no whining or complaining, we obey right away and we are kind in our words and actions.  Start tightening the reigns when you start the sleep schedule, it is not a good plan to start behavior training on the first day of school.  Trust me, been there done that. One year, I started school two days after getting back from England and Scotland after leaving the kids with Grandparents for two weeks.  It was not my best plan.
5. Start school slowly.  We do math and LA at least 3 days a week during the summer when we are home but once August hits, it will be everyday.  The next week, I will add Science, the week after that, Bible and History, then Foreign Language.  It may take me a month to add it all in but it vastly improves everyones morale if the beginning of the school year doesn’t take us forever.  Easing into it also allows us to slowly finish as well.  It is so great to know that in April you will start finishing books and allows that extra boost to get it all done.  For my high schoolers, I start the most vital subjects first so that if the end of the year gets too crazy I can start drop kicking some of the less important subject.  With World’s for Robotics, Tournaments and Nationals for Bible Bowl, AP Tests as well as ACT and SAT’s, the end of the year can be crazy, and if we can have some of the more difficult subjects successfully accomplished, we all win.
6. Make the first official day of school FUN!  When my kids come down for the first day of school, I have homemade poptarts waiting and a pile of goodies for each kid.  I have each of their favorite candy bars ( which they can eat right away or savor throughout the day – wanna guess which kids does what?), fun pens and pencils, a fun new book to read, a fun t-shirt (we used to tie dye t-shirts but my kids stopped liking that when they were about 10 and 13) and fun bookmarks.  If you have preschoolers and toddlers, make sure they get something new and fun too, a brand new coloring book or activity book with brand new crayons and maybe a new learning toy.  Even our little ones need to know that we do this school thing together, it’s something our whole family does, we learn together.  My husband tries to go into work later so we can take pictures, have breakfast together and then he prays over each of us.  Most years, I make sure the first day of school finishes at lunch time and then we hit the pool.  Make it a day to look forward too, not enter grimly.
7. Plan a couple of dates.  I know that the beginning of the school is going to be hard, it just is, and it usually takes several week or months to get into the full swing of things and I know that I will need a break.  So, I inform my husband that we will need to go out, and in years past, I planned babysitters ahead of time and booked them a month in advance.  I also plan date days with my friends.  I know that I will need time to decompress with my best friend (and now that she’s moving an hour away, I really will have to plan.  Noooooo, don’t leave me!), my Mom for her ever present, “It’s going to be okay and they are really great kids.” and with my sister who will take me to silly movies and make me snort laugh.  I take the lead and ask and plan the dates.  They are vital for my sanity and the children’s well being.

As with everything that’s hard but worth it, a little preparation can go a long way.

About 15 years ago, when my kids were very little, Scott and I took a parenting class led by good friends of ours.  During this class, the very talented leader made us these adorable magnets for our fridge to help remind us of the things we had learned.  This magnet has been our fridge since.  Long past the age when we had finger paintings and soccer schedules on the fridge, this remained.  As a matter of fact, it occupies one of the few spaces on our beautiful Stainless Steel fridge that can hold magnets.  It has become part of who we are as a family, and a daily reminder of the parents we want to be.

1.  Verbalize Family Identity  – Through the years we have used this idea to create statements about our family and who we want to be .  Things like, “We, Hudsons, work hard and then we play hard.” “We, Hudsons, have family movie nights.” “We, Hudsons, volunteer together,” “We, Hudsons, never give up, we might fail but we don’t stay there.”  “We, Hudson’s, love Jesus and others, in that order.” “We, Hudsons, go to Star Wars movies on opening night.”  We say them out loud and then we do them.  When the kids were younger, we said them a lot. Sometimes, it more about who we wanted our family to be rather than who we were at that moment, but it helped us to remember to be deliberate in creating our family identity.
2. Show Ongoing Love for Spouse – This always reminds Scott and I that one of the very best things we could do for our kids is to love each other and keep our marriage strong.  This meant we had to make our relationship a priority.  We traded kids with a friend on Fridays so that each couple had a Friday afternoon and evening alone twice a month.  We budgeted date nights, even when finances are tight.  We begged the grandparents (we have the best grandparents) to take our kids for at least a weekend, if not a week, each year for a vacation (even a staycation was a wonderful thing) alone.   We tried to spend 15 to 20 min each evening chatting together while the kids played quietly to reconnect each day.  We make each other a priority.
3. Understand and Respect Your Child’s Private World – This, for me, was the idea that God had designed and created these little people,  They weren’t blank slates, they were to be respected as little people with minds, hearts and gifts given them by God and my job was to help mold that, not create that.  Charlotte Mason was a Genius is a blog I wrote with this in mind.
4. Keep Those Promises! – If I told my kids we could go to the pool, I did everything in my power to do that.  I thought carefully when I said yes or no ( No’s had to have a good reason, because I wanted them to understand why I said No.) and having a good and clear written schedule helped me to know if I could say yes and then I made it happen.  They could trust my word and I asked them to do the same.  I wanted them to be little people of their word. If they said it, they needed to follow through, but it needed to start with me.
5. Allow Freedom to Fail – This one’s hard.  It’s hard to watch our kids fail but it’s in failure that they learn the most.  We must not save them every time. One of our rules for school was that if you didn’t get your work done (because you were dawdling or distracted) then you were not able to participate in extra curriculars until it was done.  Several times, Caileigh sat on the side of the soccer field while her team practiced and she finished her math drills.  Once she was done, she could run right on the field to practice.  I didn’t make excuses for her, I just let her feel the pain of that and then she became much more diligent.  There have been several times in a project where we have cautioned our kids and allowed them the choice to follow our advice or not, and we watched as they failed.  We didn’t allow them to stay there though, we helped them up and figured out how to make it successful because, “Hudsons don’t quit, we try again.”
6. Be An Encourager – As my love language is words of encouragement, this one is easier for me.  However, I wanted to make sure I was encouraging the right thing.  “Way to be brave and speak up” or ” I really appreciate how hard you worked to get that A” versus, ” You are so smart”.  I wanted to encourage good choices and right behaviors so I tried to use those moments to cement that it’s the choices we make that make us strong.
7. Hugs! Hugs! Hugs! – Unconditional love was not something my family did well.  Their approval, love and acceptance always felt dependent on what I did, not who I was.  I want my kids to know that they are valued first and foremost because they are beloved children of God, and secondly, because they are beloved children of ours.  No matter how hard the day was, and there were some doozies, they were loved.  We never ended the day without a hug, a snuggle and an I love you.
8. Build Relationships on God’s Word – This meant to me that I needed to know God’s Word, hide it in my heart and use it to parent.  When we taught not to whine, we used, “Pleasant words are like honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” When we taught obedience, we used, “Children obey your parents,  This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you all the days of your life.”  We also remembered the verse after that, “Parents, don’t exasperate your children.”  We memorized, ” Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, your soul and mind.  This is the first and greatest command and the second just like it, love your neighbor as yourself.”  We, as parents, work to submit and obey God’s Word and then we ask our kids to.  We want to model it before we expect it.  We also allow our kids ( respectfully) to hold us accountable when we aren’t following His word. Connor called me on, “Let your yes, be yes, and your no, be no”, several times as I am very fond of using sarcasm.  We wanted them to understand that we are accountable to the same God as they are, and that none of us are perfect but we can work on it together.

I don’t know if you can create as adorable of a fridge magnet as the one I was given, but I would encourage you to post your, “Parent’s Mandate” in a place where you can see it everyday.  I also used to have the top three reasons I homeschooled right next to this magnet as there were days when I desperately needed reminded of why I parent they way I do,and why in the world I would do this crazy homeschool thing. I am so glad I chose to do both, I have very few regrets of how I spent my days.

This summer, I have been re-reading, For the Children’s Sake, by Susan Schaeffer Macauley, which I was first introduced to in My Father’s World Kindergarten. As a new homeschooler, I was very passionate about the idea of a Classical education, it just made sense to me and my oldest was a read a book, learn it, know it forever kinda kid, and I didn’t really put Charlotte Mason ideas into practice until my twins became school age.  I am still very much a Classical educator in the structure of our education but I use Charlotte Mason ideas in the practical of how I teach. The more I have taught my own as well as Camps, Co-op, Robotics teams, Church, the more I have come to the conclusion that Charlotte Mason was a genius.  I think she had a gift from God in understanding children and not only how they do learn, but in how they should learn, and the atmosphere they best thrive in.

Just as a recap, Charlotte Mason lived in the mid 1800’s and early 1900’s and her ideas came from years and years of teaching.  She believed that children are persons to be respected and treated as the unique individuals that God has created them to be.  She believed that they should be taught and introduced to the beauty and richness in the world and in the nature around them.  She believed in teaching the Bible in its fullness and in its truth to even her youngest students.  She was a practical Classical educator and many of her ideas fit into a Classical education beautifully.

One of the ideas that really struck me this week as I was rereading was this idea of children as persons to be respected.  They are unique individual created by God.  God gave them unique personalities, He gave them gifts and desires and they come out this way.  They aren’t blank slates, they are designed individuals.  They need to be taught and trained certainly, but they are already individuals and should be respected as such. Susan Schaeffer Macaulay writes,

When we begin studying the person, the real child, we must serve who he is, not fit him into our schedules or plans.  Part of this is allowing him to play.

I really had to learn this with my twins.  Connor fit a lot of what I just naturally gravitated to.  He is the child that is most like me in personality.  While he is the introverted version to my extroversion, how we learn, what we like to do and our academic interests were similar.  The twins were not and I had to learn to change my priorities and schedules to better fit them.  When I did that, our home became more fun and engaging and even Connor enjoyed it more.

This idea that it was not about me and that I need to respect them as individuals and as children made me learn that less is more.  The idea that I can teach things simply and rigorously.  Adding another science program was going to be less useful than the time for nature walks and the weekly trip to the library where they could pick science books in topics that intrigued them.  I had to learn that I needed to keep subjects short and hands on and then move on to the next thing with lots of opportunity for movement.  I had to learn that we needed to be done with school by lunchtime in early elementary to give time for free play, free reading and quiet time.

As Dr. Dobson says, ” become a student of your child”, I had to study them, learn who God created them to be and then work and allow for that.  When I let that sink in, that my job wasn’t to make them into who I thought they needed to be, but rather help them to be who God had designed them to be, I was so much better able to meet them where they were at. Yes, there are absolutes that must be taught, but in watching and studying them, I added or subtracted work based on who they were not who I wanted them to be. I gave them time to be the little people God had created, and as they got older, my main job was to help them follow the passions that God had given to them while providing the education they needed. I am so glad that I did, because the people they are today are so much more amazing than what I could have dreamed they could be.

If you are struggling in over scheduling your kids or in designing a homeschool path, take a week and read or reread, “For the Children’s Sake”. Even after reading it for the 3rd or 4th time, I am inspired.

This is it, our twins are in 12th grade and our oldest is a College Senior looking into Graduate School and I am planning for our 16th and final year of homeschooling.  It has been the very best of years, not the easiest of years, but so very rewarding.  It has and continues to be my favorite job.  I can’t stay too sad though, as we are in the midst of transcript writing, college visits and penciled in timeline for application deadlines.

12th Grade

Combined Subjects

Bible –

Sonlight’s Advanced Apologetics (.5)- Last year, we did What Good is Christianity? and it was really fantastic, so this year we are completing the subject by doing Advanced Apologetics.  Collin won’t be going to a Christian University as there are none that have Aerospace Engineering (on a side note – we need more Christian Colleges with decent Engineering Programs), and it’s doubtful that Caileigh will either as she is looking into BioMechanical Engineering, Aerospace Physiology or Technology, Arts, and Media Engineering.  Since we are looking at secular schools, it is vitally important to us that they are very prepared to stand firm in their faith and Sonlight’s new Apologetics electives are some of the strongest I have seen.

AP Computer Science A  (1) – Sonlight has found another great new AP prep elective and we have found that having previous Comp Science credits and knowing Java really helps anyone going into a STEM field.

Sonlight’s Modern History  (1)- As I drastically rearranged MFW’s 9th, 10th and 11th grade History programs to fit into 9th and 10th with Government and Economics in 11th, we have the time to do a full Modern History year.  I might even do some modifying of this program to allow us to have some fun and watch many of the great historical movies that I have been holding onto.

Homeschool Spanish Academy (1) for Spanish 4 – This will be our 8th year with HSA and we continue to be impressed with the Spanish education our kids receive.

Health – Nutrition 101 (.5) We did this book in a Co-Op several years ago and I really liked it.  It teaches what each part of the body needs for nutrition, fats, and vitamins and what foods supply them. We have done a lot of Biology, Dating, and other topics found in traditional Health curriculum, so I really wanted to just focus on nutrition and the huge part it plays in how we feel, the decisions we make and how healthy we are.

Personal Finance (.5) – My kids have already read  Money, Possessions and Eternity so we are focusing on Money Matters for Teens and putting together actual budgets as they both have had summer internships. We are doing more practical application than curriculum.  We want them to actually manage their own budgets and spending instead of just having the head knowledge.  This worked really well for Connor and he has carefully managed his money throughout College.

Caileigh

AP Art History  (1)- My girl loves Art so she asked to do AP Art History this year.  We will be using a combination of Khan Academy’s AP Art History and Gardner’s Art Through the Ages.  If it seems too much then we will just have her not take the AP Exam and use it as an Art History Credit.

AP Physics 1 (1)- Caileigh has done A LOT of Biology and hasn’t had Physics so she is doing Apologia Physics combined with  Khan Academy AP Physics 1 so that she has a foundation for Engineering Physics.  She will be taking PreCalculus this year so isn’t ready for AP Physics C but AP Physics 1 is Algebra based.

Trigonometry and Pre- Calculus (1) – Caileigh and I will be going through  Life of Fred Trig and PreCalculus and thank goodness, it will be my last year of High School math.  Learning besides my kids is one of the things I love the most about homeschooling except in math, but Caileigh does much better if there is someone there to talk through the steps.  Actually, she usually ends up explaining it to me.

Collin

AP Calculus AB (1)  – Collin does really well with Thinkwell so we are using Thinkwell Ap Calculus AB for him this year.  It’s independent, self grading and super rigorous, so it’s perfect for his Engineering mind.

AP Physics C – Although Thinkwell doesn’t have a AP Physics course, we are going to use their college Physics 1 with test prep from Khan Academy or Varsity Tutors.  Again, Thinkwell just works for him and it prepares him well for his college courses. I also have  Apologia’s Advanced Physics to give him the Christian point of view and help solidify anything he might need help in.

Previous Blogs on High School

Advanced Placement Courses at Home

High School Electives We Love

Picking the Best Curricula for Your Student – our 11th grade plans

Our High School Homeschool Plan

Structuring High School

Why Homeschool High School?

Passion led High School

Musings on Homeschooling in High School

 

My oldest, Connor, is a Computer Science kinda guy.  He always has been.  When he was little, he would use an etch a sketch and an old keyboard to “program”.  As he got a little older, he used to draw a cartoon about a Mac computer.  That’s what he did for fun, he has always been drawn to it, it’s how God created him.  Now, he’s a senior in College with a Major in Computer Science, a Minor in Technology, Arts and Media and is looking at graduate schools.  This summer, he’s working at the MIT Media Lab helping to develop programming languages to teach programming skills to kids.  I had to play serious catch up to even be able to converse with him.  However, what he has taught me is that in this day and age, everyone needs to know a little about programming and the logic behind all those languages.  It’s become so much a part of our daily life that we need to teach it, even when we monitor and keep screen time to a minimum.

What is a Computer?

Our cars, refrigerators, our phones, almost everything has a computer in it and it is important to understand the difference between just a machine and a computer.

A computer needs four things –

Input- This is a way to get information into the computer.  A keyboard, a mouse, voice commands, downloaded info, etc.

Processing – It needs the ability to process that information or for the very little, to be able to “think”.

Storage – A computer must be able to store the information and retain it.

Output – There must be a way that the computer gives information back to us.  A screen, a printout, a voice command, somethings.

Code.org has a great video and a physical activity to determine what is and isn’t a computer. What is a Computer?  I loved doing this activity because while we were sorting images that are computers now, like phones, but weren’t 10, 20, or 30 years ago, we got to have a great discussion about change and technology improvements.

Binary Numbers

Computers store and process information in binary.  (bi for 2) Binary is either 1 or 0, yes or no, on or off.

Here’s a great video explaining binary ( heads up, it has a couple kissing briefly and mentions a cocktail party – I would show my kids but just to give a fyi). Binary Numbers

There’s also this book, What are Binary and Hexadecimal Numbers?

All letters are in a combination of binary numbers.  There are 8 bits (either 1 or 0) in a byte of information. As wikipedia says, “The byte (/baɪt/) is a unit of digital information that most commonly consists of eight bits. Historically, the byte was the number of bits used to encode a single character of text in a computer^[1][2] and for this reason it is the smallest addressable unit of memory in many computer architectures.”

So, every letter is a byte of information.  I like to have kids make a bead bracelet using their initials to help show this. Code.org has a simpler version where kids just write their bytes on a piece of paper, Binary Bracelet, but I like to get kids to pick two colors, one for ‘1’ and the other for ‘0’ and then have them build their binary initial bracelet. Some kids like to have a space between their byte’s so I just have them pick a neutral color, Here’s a great Bead Bracelet Kit .  I also use this opportunity to practice counting by 8’s as 8 bits make a byte.  You know, “You have 3 bytes in your bracelet, so how many bits?” “24, because there are 8 bits in a byte and 8×3=24.”

The conversion sheet of binary to letters is on the Binary Bracelet activity on Code.Org.

These obviously aren’t in depth but they are great beginning activities to get kids interested in STEM and to understand some of the basics.

As many of you know, if you follow my Facebook page or see my posts as the admin of the MFW Fan Page on FB, my kids are very much STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) oriented kids.  What many of you don’t know, is that I am not.  I am a liberal arts, love to read, had 8 years of Voice Lessons, love to be on stage kinda girl. I also loved sports, particularly swimming and soccer.  I do love science, math is not my favorite and I like that a computer works but don’t feel the need to understand why.  How did I manage to raise all three who love Engineering?  No idea.

What I did do is follow their passions.  If they showed an interest in a topic, we got books, found small projects or enrolled them in a class.  We tried baseball, basketball, karate, and soccer along with drama, piano, dance and sewing, but it was the STEM activities that really peaked their interest.  So, this liberal arts girl learned how to love and teach STEM.  As a matter of fact, now I teach camps to Elementary students about STEM topics and coach 5 First Lego League Teams and am starting a Jr. First Lego League Team.  God moves in mysterious ways.

Actually, I used to pray every day that God would make me the Mom my kids needed me to be.  I didn’t want it to be about me, but about the plans that He had for my kids and along the way, He changed me.

So, to help those of you who are just starting to teach your kids ( and I think all kids need an introduction to STEM), here’s some ways that I have found to be really effective and fun to teach STEM.

The Engineering Process –

The Engineering Process is really great to teach all kids because it allows and encourages kids to try and fail.  Engineers prototype everything to try and figure out the failure points which means that they purposely try to get things to fail.  If it fails spectacularly all the better!  Then they know what to fix.  The point is not to stay in the failure, just try again.  Aren’t we glad Thomas  Edison kept trying to find the right filament for the light bulb?  He tried over a 100 times, which means he failed 100 times before he had success.

Curriculum –

Crash Course Kids – What is Engineering

Crash Course Kids – Engineering Process

Crash Course Kids has an entire line of Engineering Videos that describe the Engineering Process and define what several different types of Engineers do.  I think they are fantastic. Did I mention that they are free on You Tube?

Engineering Process 6 in 1 Poster – I like to post the Engineering Process when kids are working so that when kids get frustrated, and they will, I can point them to the poster and ask them where they are in that process.  One of my kids’ Robotics Mentors always ends a kid’s statement of “I can’t do this!” with, “I can’t do this, yet.”  In Engineering and life, that ‘yet’ is very important.  She also high fives kids when they, “epically fail’ because it means that they have a new data point for their prototype.  I love that.

100 Science Experiments – Seriously, one of my favorite Science books ever.  It was originally from MFW’s,  “1850 to Modern Times”, but I loved the book so much, I sold the package without this book.  It has a permanent place in my library.

Invention Journal   This journal helps kids to walk through the Engineering Process on any of their projects.

Activities –

I have done this with teams of kids as well as individually.  I like teams because it teaches kids to brainstorm, to listen to others and gives me opportunity to train those who struggle with working together with kindness and respect.  (For instance, the words, “that’s dumb, you’re stupid” or just yelling at each other will get kids a time out of the competition to have a discussion with me about respect and helpful words.)

Make a Bridge  – I like to do this activity several times.  First, I give them Craft Sticks and Wooden Clothes Pins with 3 mins and only the direction to build a bridge between two tables ( no more than 12 inches apart) to hold as many (thin, really light) books as possible.  After it fails, and it will, I talk them through the Engineering Process and watch the Engineering Process video.  Next, I give them a minute to make a sketch and plan and then 3 more minutes to build.  It should be a better bridge, but will probably fail after a book or two. Then read the except about “What’s going on?” at the top of page 33 of, “100 Science Experiments” and let them have another minute to plan and three more minutes to build.  Their bridge should be so much better and hold more. Good questions to ask are, “Are there better materials to use?”, my kids found binder clips to work better than clothes pins and bigger craft sticks are better than popsicle sticks, “Are there different shapes that hold more? How can you stabilize the structure?  What is the consistent failure point and how do we make it better?”

Build Stable Structures – This activity may take several times as well.  Following the above basic structure, I give them uncooked spaghetti and mini-marshmallows and 5 min to build the tallest, stable structure they can.  After the first try, I read page 32-33 of the, “100 Science Experiments”, give them a minute to sketch and plan and then 5 more minutes.  After that 5 minutes, I stop them to go through a “failure point” discussion.  “Where is their structure the weakest?  What’s going to fail first? How can they make it better?”  Give them another minute to plan and then they can fix their previous structure.

The point of these activities is to teach the Engineering Process and the thought that things aren’t going to work perfectly the first, third or even 10th time you build them.  The point is to keep, researching, keep prototyping, keep trying to make it better.

I also love the Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction, series of books to allow kids to practice their hands-on Engineering skills and to challenge them to make a working project even better.

The seminar and article I get the most questions on is from, “Ten Practical Things Every Homeschooler Should Know” so I thought I would start with that.

Today we are going to talk about Parent Training.

“The reasonableness of the command to obey parents is clear to children, even when quite young.”  – Noah Webster

One of the very first things I ask Moms who are stressed and overwrought and clearly at their wits end with this crazy homeschooling thing is, “ If you ask your child to please go to the table and sit down, what happens?”  and the second thing I ask is, “How many times would it take of you asking before your child would do it?”.  More often than not, the answer comes with a pause and a stammer or even an answer that it depends on the child’s mood that day.  Children that do not obey right away make homeschooling 10 times harder than it has to be and if you have more than one child, that can make it almost impossible.  Consider this scenario –

“Johnnny and Susie, please come to the table and sit down.  We are ready to start school.”  Mom asks.  Johnny and Susie keep playing with the legos with no acknowledgement or sign of movement.

“ Kids, it is time for school.  Come over.  I have fun activities planned for today.”  The two briefly raise their heads from their toys at the mention of fun but quickly go back to playing.

“I said, it is time for school, don’t make me count to 3!”  Mom’s voice starts getting louder.  Finally, Mom comes over and takes their hands and puts the toys down and makes them come to table all the while the two have begun to wail which then wakes up little brother who has been taking a nap.  Mom struggles to get them to table and hopes the baby goes back to sleep so she can do school.  Mom is stressed, the kids are whining and crying and it is only the beginning of the day.

The calm, wonderful school day Mom has meticulously planned is now shot to pieces and she just does the best she can to teach the have-to’s in the remaining time.  Anyone would have a hard time teaching phonics and math to children who won’t even come sit down at the table.  It becomes more about just getting it done than really teaching and educating. One of the interesting and more difficult parts of homeschooling is the fact that we are educating and parenting.  We are training their minds and their hearts at the same time.  You don’t stop being the Mom when school starts, you just add the Teacher hat to the mix.

Now, before we go any further, I know that some of you are thinking, “Dawn must have compliant children.  She clearly doesn’t have any strong-willed children.”  Not true, AT ALL.  We are blessed with three children, Connor, and the twins, Caileigh and Collin.  My husband often says that if we would have just had Connor we would have thought we were the best parents ever.  We said, “No”, and he stopped.  We could look sternly at him and he would apologize.  Then we had the twins.  Caileigh, bless her sweet heart, is definitely my child and that is both a blessing and a curse.  I often heard growing up,  “ I hope you have a child just like you!” and I did.  Caileigh does her own thing, in her own time and is willing to let you know when she doesn’t like something.  Her twin, Collin, sees everything in black and white and while mostly obedient, if you do something that he sees as wrong ( like turning the cartoon off while he was watching), he will hold a grudge all day long. I understand, really, I do.  That’s also why I know this works.  I read all the books, went to the seminars, talked to the leaders and gathered all the information I could.

So what is a mom to do?  Plan to spend the summer training your children in first time obedience, no whining and complaining and cleaning up after themselves.  What if you are in the middle of the school year?  Then start where you are.  You can schedule homeschooling light for the next few weeks, take a week or two off or pare down on activities for the next several weeks.  It can be done in the school year, it just might take more of your time, emotions and energy than usual.

Parent Training

First things first, we need to do some parent training.  I would suggest you take a week before you start on child training to train and prepare yourself and possibly your spouse.

In my experience, one of the most powerful and helpful parenting Bible verses is Matthew 5:37 which says, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’, ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

When my children were little, I was challenged to really put this into practice in my home.  It meant that I had to take a moment and think about what they were asking and what my response would be.  It meant that if I said,’Yes’, I was committed to doing what I said I would do.  If I said I would make cookies, then I did.  If I said they could play with playdough I needed to be prepared to help get out all the playdough toys and set them up outside on the patio.  (I can not deal with playdough in the house.  It makes me crazy)  If I said that as soon I was done folding the laundry then I would take them to the park, then I did.  Sure life can get crazy and sometimes things happen but I tried to be very careful to keep my word.  I wanted my kids to know that I when I said I would do something then I would.  I didn’t need to promise because my kids knew that if I said ‘Yes’, I meant, ‘Yes’.

This took me a little time to adjust to as I really needed to think about it before I said, ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.  I had to weigh out all that I had to do, what other expectations I had on my time and what was most important that day.  Had I spent enough time with the kids or had I been too focused on other matters.  Did I have company coming and messy kids what the last thing I needed?  Was there a moral or Biblical reason to say ‘No’, or was it just because it might annoy me.  This last statement was one I was also challenged on, did I just say ‘No’ to things because I just didn’t really want to deal with it or did I have a valid reason to say, ‘No’? Don’t get me wrong, there were days when I said, ‘No’ and then I told them, “ Mom, really isn’t up to it today.  Can we do it later in the week?’.  I really tried to limit the ‘Nos’ that had more to do with what I felt like then really whether it was a bad idea.

Saying, ‘Yes’ is far easier than the concept of saying, ‘No’ and meaning it.  Your ‘No’ as parent must hold weight.  If I tell my kids, ‘No’ they understand that I am willing to follow up on the ‘No’.  I do try and give them a why with the ‘No’ so they can learn the whys behind my ‘Nos’ and hopefully begin to see the wisdom and pattern in my ‘No’.

“No, you may not take the toy away from your sister because that is rude and the Bible says that love is not rude”.

“No, you may not play with your brother’s toys as it is not yours.  We must love and respect your brother enough to ask before we touch his things.”  I said this a lot to the twins who wanted to play with their older brothers cool toys.  Actually, they still want to play with his cool toys, but they now ask before they touch.

When I said ‘No’ to my kids, I had to be willing to follow up on whatever the consequences might be.  My ‘Yes’ meant ‘Yes’ and my ‘No’ meant ‘No’.  I didn’t count to three, I didn’t ask several times because they needed to know that I meant what I said and I was willing to follow through.  Was this fun?  Absolutely not.  There were days when I met my husband at the door and said, “The kids are sitting and reading on the couch, dinner is on the table and I won’t be back until they are all in bed”.  Saying ‘No’ and meaning it means that your children will test you on your ‘No’ and you have to have to have the fortitude to follow through.  It will be worth it though.  I don’t get angry and I don’t raise my voice but my kids know when Mom says ‘No’ she means it and they very rarely challenge that anymore.  It makes our home and much more peaceful and pleasant place.

I think that this is very first step in having your children listen to you both as a parent and a teacher and it is up to the parent to determine in their heart and mind to follow the Bible’s advice.

Categories: parenting

I once heard that Middle School was just a place holder between Elementary and High School.  Because of the immense changes in their bodies and in their hormones, they just needed space and weren’t capable of much more than that.  While I do agree that Middle School kids are going through immense physical and emotional changes, (this time frame in our home is when I started using the phrase, “Are you new here?” on a daily or even hourly basis.) and it can cause them to completely lose their brain, or sanity, or all semblance of emotional control, it is not the time to merely let them get by. This is the time to start asking them about their interests, it is time to let them know you believe that they are capable of more, time to expect more of them, even if they fail.  They will fail, and your expectations won’t always be met and that’s okay.  The hard lessons they learn here, at home where its safe, will hold them in good stead.  This is the time to start igniting their passions and let them know that you believe that they can start changing the world right now.  Middle School Vision Casting is a blog I wrote a while ago about starting them on a great path.  Today, I want to write about some of the more practical aspects on what they need in Middle School to help them be successful in High School.

 

1. Middle School kids need to learn to be Independent.  I think that once kids hit 6th or 7th grade, they need to have one or two subjects that they need to be responsible for.  They need to be able to follow a schedule and hit a deadline.  Math and Science are easy ones to start with.  Deadlines need to be taught and stuck to.  If they don’t get their work done, they don’t get screen time, they don’t get extra curricular activities, nothing happens until that work is done.  It’s my personal opinion that teaching kids to follow a schedule and understanding that a deadline is important is vital to teach in Middle School.  I have counseled many stressed Moms whose 7th or 8th grader was three months behind in math but still wanted to go on the overnight with church. I told them that if it were my child, they wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything until their work was done and up to date.  Collin was several weeks behind in math and he didn’t get Christmas break until it was done. He did 8 hours of math for a week until he was caught up.  He never did that again.  If kids understand how to follow a schedule and meet a deadline, they will be so much better off in High School and College. You can get them a planner that you fill out each week like this one –  Middle School Planner or make your own.  I simply did a spreadsheet in Google Docs and had 36 printed out with all of their activities and subjects and filled them in weekly.  I still do this.  I also have a place for weekly grades and notes on volunteer hours.
2.  Middle School kids need to learn how to learn from a textbook.  My kids were very much educated in a Charlotte Mason, living books only methodology, until 6th or 7th grade. They had never seen a textbook let alone learn from one.  They also hadn’t really taken Unit or Chapter tests because I firmly believe in narrations until then.  As a matter of fact, I still believe that narrations and summaries are better than tests and I still incorporate that into their High School work.  However, there are just certain topics that are textbook driven.  Not to mention the fact, that most outside High School classes and College classes are taught from a textbook, and that learning from them is a skill that needs to be taught.  I like Apologia Science for this very reason.  I sit down with my kids and show them the study guide at the end of a module and explain that they might want to read that before they read the chapter to know what’s  important to know.  I get them the Notebook that corresponds, and teach them to take notes. I grade their notes because good notes are important.  On their first couple of tests, I allow them to take the test with their notes to help them be successful, not to mention that the most of my oldest son’s College finals also allow him to take a page of notes into the tests.  I, personally, have my kids do Apologia General Science in 6th, Physical Science in 7th and Biology in 8th which gives them more room for AP Sciences in High School.  However, I understand that my kids are STEM kids and that this schedule wouldn’t work for everyone.  I will say that I don’t think General Science is High School Credit worthy and that I am not a fan of doing a 1/2 a book in a year.  This goes back to being able to follow a schedule and meeting a deadline.  A little pressure now will allow for that harder 9th grade year to go smoothly.
3. Middle School Kids need to have their Math, Grammar and Writing skills up to grade level. High School is hard enough and if you wait until 9th grade to work on them, 9th grade is going to be killer hard. (As always, I am talking about most kids, if you have a child with special needs, meet them where they are at)  They need to be at least through Pre-Algebra in math, have a thorough foundation in grammar and be able to diagram a sentence and name all the parts of speech.  Be able to outline a passage or a paper and be able to do a basic Argumentative Essay.  History, Music, Art, Crafts etc are just gravy at this point.  These skills need to be the goals that they need to accomplish before they hit High School.
4. Middle School kids need to focus on others.  My goodness, this age child is sooooo focused on themselves that it becomes necessary to help them focus on others.  We studied and memorized the book of James again in 7th grade.  Then we did a study of different cultures and people groups where we prayed through the 10/40 window everyday.  I insisted that they serve weekly in church and then found outside projects that helped others.  We did Blessing Bags, Operation Christmas Child, passed flyers out in our neighborhood and collected hundreds of cans of food for our local food bank, and raised money to feed orphans in Ethiopia. We shoveled snow, cleared out lawns, helped people recover from a flood, and brought meals to those who needed them.  I wanted my Middle Schoolers to focus on anyone but themselves, and then I kept them busy doing it.  I didn’t wait for them to think of things to do or whether they felt like it, I just made it happen.  We also started doing weekly prayer walks in the neighborhood along with having them think of people we needed to pray for and then we prayed for them in our morning meetings.  Keeping kids thinking and serving others helped them to be more compassionate and stopped them (mostly) from becoming overly emotional.  It also helped me hammer the point in that they didn’t need to wait until they were adults to change the world.  By thinking and helping others, they were changing the world a little bit at a time and teens and pre-teens need to know that.  They want to be world changers, we just have to help them accomplish that.

 

I know the temptation is to just continue in the pattern of homeschooling that you might have done since Kindergarten but I really think you will be better served by helping your child mature and grow.  In a Classical Education Philosophy, those Middle Schoolers are moving into the Logic stage and they really are capable of more.  We must let them and sometimes, we must force them to start to move into that maturity.  Moving into High School will be so much smoother if you prep your child in Middle School rather than playing catch up.  Playing catch up in High School affects ACT/SATs, transcripts, graduation, the ability to get into college and the ability to get scholarships.  Start making their school work more challenging, more independent and teach them to meet a deadline and you all will be better off.

PS – As an after thought, if your child doesn’t know how to mow the lawn, do their own laundry, make a meal from scratch, clean a bathroom, clean a kitchen, and isn’t responsible for their own room.  TEACH IT NOW! My college son has had to teach more than one of his Honors Engineering friends how to make a meal and do their laundry.  Help them to be self reliant by teaching life skills now.