****Throwback post ***** I still find this advice invaluable. This year, with Caileigh on all of her different medications which really affected her, I needed to be aware of giving a her a break when necessary. Taking a moment away from the emotions can also really help to diffuse a situation and be able to look at things with clear eyes.
This spring, I heard Susan Wise Bauer of the Well Trained Mind, speak at the Midwest Homeschool Convention on the things that her parents did really right and did not do as well. One of the things that caught my attention was how her Mom dealt with melt-downs. We all have them and sometimes, our kids have them. This is different than continual whining or complaining which needs to be disciplined. This is the, “I just can’t seem to get control and I know I’m in the wrong but I just can’t do it” melt down. All three of my kids had one of these today. I knew it was coming because we are three weeks into school and hadn’t had one yet so we were due. Susan Wise Bauer’s mom, Jessie, used to ask her kids, ” Do you need a sandwich? A walk? A shower or do you need to take a nap?” when they were in the midst of a melt-down. Growing up, my dad used to ask if he could “fry you an egg”. Either way, sometimes we need to take a moment and help our kids learn to handle these melt-downs. Taking care of our physical needs can sometimes put a screeching halt in these melt-downs.
For younger elementary kids, tell them “We need to get self-control over our emotions and then we’ll take a break for a minute” Maybe go outside and run around for a couple of minutes and then get them a snack and try school again. For older kids, ask them to get self-control and allow them to go to their rooms to do that if needed, have them take a walk or a run, have a snack and maybe move on to another subject for awhile and then hit the hard subject after a bit. Connor often needs a walk outside and success at something else then he can look at the subject with a clear head. Don’t forget to give them a hug and let them know that it’ll be okay.
I found this to work well on hard discipline days too. Sometimes we just need to break the cycle and get control. A step away from the emotions can often be exactly what we need to calm the situation.
I needed a nap today. Caileigh needed a hug and a snack, Collin needed a hug and to play with Holly and Connor needed to go to his room then switch to something different for a bit. We all made it and school ended on a successful and positive note. Whew!
Categories: parenting