I once heard that Middle School was just a place holder between Elementary and High School. Because of the immense changes in their bodies and in their hormones, they just needed space and weren’t capable of much more than that. While I do agree that Middle School kids are going through immense physical and emotional changes, (this time frame in our home is when I started using the phrase, “Are you new here?” on a daily or even hourly basis.) and it can cause them to completely lose their brain, or sanity, or all semblance of emotional control, it is not the time to merely let them get by. This is the time to start asking them about their interests, it is time to let them know you believe that they are capable of more, time to expect more of them, even if they fail. They will fail, and your expectations won’t always be met and that’s okay. The hard lessons they learn here, at home where its safe, will hold them in good stead. This is the time to start igniting their passions and let them know that you believe that they can start changing the world right now. Middle School Vision Casting is a blog I wrote a while ago about starting them on a great path. Today, I want to write about some of the more practical aspects on what they need in Middle School to help them be successful in High School.
- Middle School kids need to learn to be Independent. I think that once kids hit 6th or 7th grade, they need to have one or two subjects that they need to be responsible for. They need to be able to follow a schedule and hit a deadline. Math and Science are easy ones to start with. Deadlines need to be taught and stuck to. If they don’t get their work done, they don’t get screen time, they don’t get extra curricular activities, nothing happens until that work is done. It’s my personal opinion that teaching kids to follow a schedule and understanding that a deadline is important is vital to teach in Middle School. I have counseled many stressed Moms whose 7th or 8th grader was three months behind in math but still wanted to go on the overnight with church. I told them that if it were my child, they wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything until their work was done and up to date. Collin was several weeks behind in math and he didn’t get Christmas break until it was done. He did 8 hours of math for a week until he was caught up. He never did that again. If kids understand how to follow a schedule and meet a deadline, they will be so much better off in High School and College. You can get them a planner that you fill out each week like this one – Middle School Planner or make your own. I simply did a spreadsheet in Google Docs and had 36 printed out with all of their activities and subjects and filled them in weekly. I still do this. I also have a place for weekly grades and notes on volunteer hours.
- Middle School kids need to learn how to learn from a textbook. My kids were very much educated in a Charlotte Mason, living books only methodology, until 6th or 7th grade. They had never seen a textbook let alone learn from one. They also hadn’t really taken Unit or Chapter tests because I firmly believe in narrations until then. As a matter of fact, I still believe that narrations and summaries are better than tests and I still incorporate that into their High School work. However, there are just certain topics that are textbook driven. Not to mention the fact, that most outside High School classes and College classes are taught from a textbook, and that learning from them is a skill that needs to be taught. I like Apologia Science for this very reason. I sit down with my kids and show them the study guide at the end of a module and explain that they might want to read that before they read the chapter to know what’s important to know. I get them the Notebook that corresponds, and teach them to take notes. I grade their notes because good notes are important. On their first couple of tests, I allow them to take the test with their notes to help them be successful, not to mention that the most of my oldest son’s College finals also allow him to take a page of notes into the tests. I, personally, have my kids do Apologia General Science in 6th, Physical Science in 7th and Biology in 8th which gives them more room for AP Sciences in High School. However, I understand that my kids are STEM kids and that this schedule wouldn’t work for everyone. I will say that I don’t think General Science is High School Credit worthy and that I am not a fan of doing a 1/2 a book in a year. This goes back to being able to follow a schedule and meeting a deadline. A little pressure now will allow for that harder 9th grade year to go smoothly.
- Middle School Kids need to have their Math, Grammar and Writing skills up to grade level. High School is hard enough and if you wait until 9th grade to work on them, 9th grade is going to be killer hard. (As always, I am talking about most kids, if you have a child with special needs, meet them where they are at) They need to be at least through Pre-Algebra in math, have a thorough foundation in grammar and be able to diagram a sentence and name all the parts of speech. Be able to outline a passage or a paper and be able to do a basic Argumentative Essay. History, Music, Art, Crafts etc are just gravy at this point. These skills need to be the goals that they need to accomplish before they hit High School.
- Middle School kids need to focus on others. My goodness, this age child is sooooo focused on themselves that it becomes necessary to help them focus on others. We studied and memorized the book of James again in 7th grade. Then we did a study of different cultures and people groups where we prayed through the 10/40 window everyday. I insisted that they serve weekly in church and then found outside projects that helped others. We did Blessing Bags, Operation Christmas Child, passed flyers out in our neighborhood and collected hundreds of cans of food for our local food bank, and raised money to feed orphans in Ethiopia. We shoveled snow, cleared out lawns, helped people recover from a flood, and brought meals to those who needed them. I wanted my Middle Schoolers to focus on anyone but themselves, and then I kept them busy doing it. I didn’t wait for them to think of things to do or whether they felt like it, I just made it happen. We also started doing weekly prayer walks in the neighborhood along with having them think of people we needed to pray for and then we prayed for them in our morning meetings. Keeping kids thinking and serving others helped them to be more compassionate and stopped them (mostly) from becoming overly emotional. It also helped me hammer the point in that they didn’t need to wait until they were adults to change the world. By thinking and helping others, they were changing the world a little bit at a time and teens and pre-teens need to know that. They want to be world changers, we just have to help them accomplish that.
I know the temptation is to just continue in the pattern of homeschooling that you might have done since Kindergarten but I really think you will be better served by helping your child mature and grow. In a Classical Education Philosophy, those Middle Schoolers are moving into the Logic stage and they really are capable of more. We must let them and sometimes, we must force them to start to move into that maturity. Moving into High School will be so much smoother if you prep your child in Middle School rather than playing catch up. Playing catch up in High School affects ACT/SATs, transcripts, graduation, the ability to get into college and the ability to get scholarships. Start making their school work more challenging, more independent and teach them to meet a deadline and you all will be better off.
PS – As an after thought, if your child doesn’t know how to mow the lawn, do their own laundry, make a meal from scratch, clean a bathroom, clean a kitchen, and isn’t responsible for their own room. TEACH IT NOW! My college son has had to teach more than one of his Honors Engineering friends how to make a meal and do their laundry. Help them to be self reliant by teaching life skills now.