Responsible Words

****throwback post*****

Since I have had several ask for this post, here you go!  I also highly recommend Everyday Talk, I found it to be really helpful in helping me train myself in how I speak to those around me.  The more I am responsible with my words and tones, the more responsible my kids are.  My tongue is an area I struggle with, so this book helped me to tame my tongue even further.  As always, I find I have to effectively discipline myself before I can teach it to my kids. 

This week at church our family learned that we need to be responsible with our words. We have a “family church” experience called Rush Hour, “Where kids bring their parents to learn”, which introduces the topic that the elementary kids are going to delve into deeper during their Sunday School classes. What Rush Hour does is to involve the parents in what the kids are learning and gives both parents and kids a common Biblical lesson to work on through out the week. We, as parents, have the responsiblity to teach our children about God as clearly stated in Duet 6:6-7 ,

” These commandments that I give you to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, when you walk along the road, when you lie down and you get up.”

Rush Hour often gives us a starting place, which we love and often reinforces what they have heard at home.  This week’s message was that we are to be responsible with our words which reminded me of a lesson I did when my kids were younger.

When my kids were younger I had them memorize this verse from Proverbs 16:24,

” Pleasant words are like honey comb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

I talked to them about what pleasant words were and how they also talk about how we say things, with respect and kindness. I then had them try a honey stick and we talked about how sweet those words are and how when we use pleasant words it leaves a sweet taste in their mouth as well as how healing they are to others. I promised that I would be paying attention to their words (including no whining and complaining) and would give them a honey stick ( or m&ms or whatever sweet thing you choose) when I caught them using sweet words.

On the other hand, the Bible says in Ephesians 4:29,

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.”

I equated unwholesome talk with the the taste of apple cider vinegar (or molasses or bitter herbs – whatever the child dislikes) and had them taste it. Unwholesome talk being whatever is mean or unkind, disrepectful, whining or complaining and doesn’t build up or heal. I also promised them that I would be listening for any unwholesome talk and that they would get the vinegar if I caught them speaking vinegar words.

I paid extra special attention to the kids talk for the next week or so, leaving the honey and vinegar in plain sight as a reminder that they could choose what kind of words ( and food) they used. I ask my kids if they are using honey words or vinegar words and if they are healing or hurting others with their tones or their words.

It’s important that we, as parents, also are very careful with the words and tones we are using in our everyday lives. We will be held accountable just as we hold our kids accountable.

I wrote this a couple of years ago but as my kids are heading into the teen years, I am realizing how important this training is in the early years. Now, I can just ask them, “Are those honey words or tones or are they vineagar tones and words?” It is a quick reminder for my kids to get a hold of their tongue quickly.